What and who we define being a man as is ever changing and evolving. You don't need to wear flannel, have a beard, and never cry to be a man. That's just ridiculous. What you do need to do is be capable in many situations, always ready to lend a helping hand. Although there's more to it than that, I think that's something we can all agree on. Though some of these reinforce a traditional, over-simplistic idea of being a man, take what you can from the list to become a better person in general. #49 is absolutely critical for men, and most men have no idea how to do this!
1. How to Give a Handshake
I don't know why it's so difficult for some men to give a good handshake. I'm not saying mine will knock your socks off (or gloves off, might be a better phrasing), but at least it doesn't feel like you're grabbing a handful of wet spaghetti. Just grab and grip. You don't need to be strong. Just grip as hard as you would if you were picking up a sword. Why did I choose a sword for my example? Because I'm that manly.
I recently learned that at an early age my parents taught me to shake everyone's hand that I met. I'd be this little three year old going up to people and extending my hand for a shake. I don't think anyone blamed me for my noodle grip back then. My bones weren't even fully formed yet.
2. How to Change a Tire
Yes, AAA is a great, useful service that could easily send someone to change your tire for you... but why? Other than getting your hands dirty, it's very easy. Sure, you could put the jack in a wrong place that will rip through your car, and if you don't tighten the bolts, your wheels will fall off while driving.
I remember I had a girlfriend whose tire was flat, so she called me and I said I'd come and help her. I show up and she doesn't have a jack or a wrench. I check my car, and for some reason I don't have them either. I tell her I can't do it and she starts to question my manhood. I'm like, "what do you want me to do, lift the care up and unscrew the bolts with my teeth?" That relationship didn't last.
3. How to Jump a Car
Raise your hand if you ever told someone that you didn't have jumper cables just so you wouldn't have to help them? Now raise your hand if you ever told someone that you didn't have jumper cables just because you were scared that neither of you would know how to do it? Either is pretty common. The truth is that it's very simple and easy. The hardest part is arranging the cars, to be honest. When you have a car stalled out on a one-lane road with no room to park, you're guaranteed to piss a bunch of people off.
The last time I had to jump a car, the cables I was using were very questionable. That was the only difficult part. The rubber had corroded off the cables, revealing exposed wires. I was terrified, but I still did it.
4. The Four Rules of Firearms
I know there are some people reading this saying, "I will NEVER touch a gun. Guns are disgusting. I want them all burned by 2019." Opinions aside on guns, you're stupid if you don't learn how to handle one. You never know when you'll need to use one in an emergency situation, or hell, maybe you'll be in a position where you're with someone handling a firearm. Wouldn't you rather know if they were using the gun properly or not? The rules are pretty simple, and many gun owners follow them, but there's plenty of idiots out there breaking these basic rules.
Actors need to learn simple tasks like this. You ever watch an alleged special forces agent who can't even hold a gun, or worse, is putting people in danger just by their ignorance? That's not a character tick, that's just ignorant acting.
5. How to Start a Campfire
We had to make the distinction of "campfire" because I know a lot of you will be like, "I know how to start a fire. I turn my gas fireplace on and enjoy a good book." We're talking about being out in the wilderness, folks. This could be crucial if you ever get stranded, or if you're ever camping and want to get laid. Be the guy who builds the fire and you're in.
It's pretty clear that we're ten years away from a perfect futuristic society OR we're ten years away from complete annihilation. It could go either way at this point. If you can't survive without your daily juice cleanse and hour of instagram in the morning, you're going to be F-ed. It's OK, when I eventually have to eat you, you might not have a lot of meat on you, but you'll be delicious and full of nutrients.
6. How to Grocery Shop for Yourself
Let's be very clear on what grocery shopping for yourself means. That doesn't mean that you walked into the store, put things in a cart, paid, and left. That's the easy part. Sticking to a plan as loose as that means you're going to walk out with beer, some sort of cheese cracker, Hungry Man frozen dinners, and a magazine you'll masturbate to even though you have the internet. By grocery shopping, we mean knowing what's essential and shopping for those items at the right prices.
A lot of learning how to grocery shop just comes from being broke. When you're broke, no one's buying anything for you, so you have to choose. Then once you choose, you realize that your choices are limited to anything under a dollar. That's why it's so upsetting when you go grocery shopping at the dollar store and you see an item for $1.50. Why are you trying to play me?
7. How to Flirt Without Being Creepy
I think we could put "How to Fly Using Your Mental Powers" on this list and it would be more likely than men learning how to flirt without being creepy. This has always been a big problem, but it's come into the spotlight with the #METOO movement. A lot of incel guys will complain that they're not attractive enough to flirt. That girls just disregard them. I highly doubt that. I've seen some hideous looking guys flirt successfully with model-type chicks just because of confidence, being kind, and taking a shower.
You're not doing yourself any favors if you don't try to be a better flirt. One-sided flirting is just harassment. Here's an easy tip. If it doesn't seem like the girl is into it, just say "thank you for the conversation" and walk away. Think about what might have gone wrong, even though it might have been nothing. Just because you flirt with a girl doesn't mean she owes you anything. Not even friendship.
8. How to Do Your Laundry
When people say they don't know how to do laundry, all I want to do is murder them right then and there. The instructions are right there on the machine. It couldn't be easier. When I think about the overpopulation of the world, or the fact that I can't get Hamilton tickets because it's sold out, I think that those should be the first people to go. You put the soap in the machine. You put the dirty clothes in the machine. You put money in the machine. Then that's about it.
There are some more advanced techniques, like separating colors and all that, but most people don't even do that. Only people who buy expensive clothes or are bored as hell do that. If you're someone reading this article, you probably don't' need to worry about separating.
9. How to Tie a Tie
There are thousands if not millions of Youtube tutorials on this, and all of them are confusing. It's the mirrored view that really screws me up. The best way to learn is to find an old guy who will give you hard time about it while he teaches you, and he'll talk so close to your face that his halitosis will curl your eyebrow hairs. It may sound horrible, and it is, but it's the best way.
Once you've mastered the tie, which honestly won't take you more than ten minutes of doing it over and over, you can move on to the bow tie. The bow tie is a different beast all together. The tie only requires that you know the sequence of folds. A bow tie requires deliberate hands and precision. If it doesn't come out perfect, it just looks like you're wearing a balled up sock on your neck.
10. How to Throw a Punch
No one is saying that you need to or should go around punching people, but you should know how to throw a punch. Violence is a shitty path to take, but sometimes you have to throw one to protect the ones you love. It's not fair, but that's life. I'd rather know how to throw a punch and never have to do it than throw one and end up breaking my wrist.
I teach karate part time to preschoolers and kindergarteners. None of them know how to throw a punch except the girls. The boys try so hard to hit hard that their form is awful. They're hitting with their palm and knuckles, winding back so far that the bad guy would be gone by the time they punched. The girls, however, punch perfectly straight with great form. I don't know what it is, but men could certainly take a lesson from women on many things.
11. The Best and Safest Way to Shave
All men have to shave. I know some of you all are bitter about that, because you can't grow luscious beards and mustaches, but are you telling me that absolutely no hair grows on you at all? Guaranteed you have some peach fuzzy hairs growing that you're not even aware of. No one wants to see one weird, long hair on a baby face. Give yourself a shave, even if you think you're clean.
Many men don't like shaving because they don't know how to do it right so they keep cutting themselves or getting razor burn. Learn to do it right and you'll look so clean women won't stop caressing your face. That's why we shave, right? What other reason would we care about our facial hair if it weren't to attract people we want to hook up with?
12. How to Escape a Sinking Car
This is a skill you most likely won't ever need, but if you do ever find yourself in this situation, you better believe you're going to wish you would have learned. There's a surprising amount of science involved with this death. The doors won't want to open because of the pressure, and as the car slowly fills with water, you'll feel trapped. Truly terrifying. As if it isn't scary enough to have driven your car into water.
I keep a knife in my car that can cut through seatbelt and smash through a window if need be. The only thing is that I don't know where it is at the moment because it keeps rolling around in the car. I'd have to spend eight minutes trying to find it as my car filled with water.
13. How to Hold a Baby
There's a stereotype that men can't take care of babies, and it's generally true. That's because men don't try at anything. OK, so maybe they try at some things, but it's never anything important. "Pick up a baby? That's for women! I won't even try." That sounds like the words of a real man's man... and a total idiot. If you can't take care of a child you're useless! No one cares how much you can bench if you can't take care of eight pounds.
Being a caretaking man is a very sexy quality these days. Who do you think everyone loves, the guy who holds a baby effortlessly and shows it love, or the guy who says, "holding babies is gay." I think the answer is pretty clear. (the guy who says holding babies is gay.)
14. How to Break Down a Door
Aside from being a great way to enter a room, breaking down a door can save a life. Can you imagine a friend who entered every room by kicking down the door? On one side of things, very cool. On the other side, replacing a door is a bitch. It's something you have to do at rented offices only. Some place where you didn't put a deposit in.
One of the main rules is not to use a jump kick. That's really unfortunate. If using a jump kick was an option I could break down doors in style. I know several jump kicks, most of them are visibly useless to breaking down a door. My expert axe kick? Not going to do anything except maybe pop the door handle off. At least I could lock people INTO a room.
15. How to Unlock a Bra with One Hand
If movies have taught us anything, it's not to go into a bra unlocking situation with a cocky attitude. It will always end badly. The thing is that women do and undo bras at least twice a day every day. They are REALLY good at it. To think that you would be anywhere near as good at it without any practice is such a man attitude. The thing is, you're going to need to practice... on your mother. Just kidding.
Go to bra store and guy one. Put it around your pillow and practice the one handed technique. You're going to need that other hand to do other things, like texting your friends, "dude! I'm hooking up with a girl! It's awesome!" At the end of the day, if you don't want to risk looking like a fool, just tell the girl, "take that bra off and show me those titties."
16. How to Iron a Dress Shirt
Walking into someplace with a wrinkled dress shirt can be very embarrassing, and the excuse that "it's part of the style" only works so many times, if at all. You've got to keep your dress shirts pressed or else you're better off wearing a t-shirt. Some places won't even let you inside if you're wearing a t-shirt, even if it's one of those that look like a collared shirt and tie.
If you're one of those fools who thinks ironing is woman's work, just knock it off. You're a grown human being, you can learn how to iron your own shirt. There's nothing manly about needing a woman to do everything for you, even if some of those things are traditionally roles for women. I don't know about you, but I like to rely on myself instead of being a dope.
17. What To Do If You Fall Through Ice
Here's another one that you're going to hope you never have to use, but you'll be so happy you know it if you do. The first thing to do is not panic. That's easier said than done. As your body is plunged into ice water, the first thing your nerves are going to want to do is panic. That's like saying "don't flow blood through your body." It's not something you can help. You can try to control it the best you can though.
I'm sure part of you think that you could easily do this, but once you're in it, it sucks. Your muscles won't work as well as they should, and you won't be able to breath. Those two things alone could kill me if they happened while I was sitting on the couch.
18. How to Let Go of Regret
Men especially beat themselves up over things because society tells us that we should be infallible, and need to take care of everything. Unfortunately many men deal with regret in a toxic way. Look at the men of the #metoo movement. They don't even get past step one. "What did I do wrong?" Harvey Weinstein is like, "Ok, so I masturbating in a bush because a woman wouldn't sleep with me... what did I do wrong?... nothing. It's her fault."
It's amazing how simple these four steps are, yet how most people won't take the time to properly go through them. Just getting past step one in an honest way is difficult for most. It's a natural reflex to tell ourselves that we didn't do anything wrong. Truth is, you may have. The good news is, you can make it right.
19. How to Tell When Meat is Done
I'm not endorsing the image used here, because it doesn't make any sense at all. Am I going by color or thickness? What's the message here? There are better ways out there, like just knowing cooking times, but the short story is that you should figure it out. Like most things, you have to learn by doing. Just go buy a couple of cheap steaks and cook them until you figure it out. Or better yet, read instructions and actually apply them.
When people tell me they don't know how to do certain things, like cook a steak, I get infuriated. We live in a time where you can make a call and find out what molecular physics is all on the same device at the same time. You can figure out how to cook a steak. Google it.
20. How to Make Small Talk with Strangers
Now, no one says that you should go out and look for strangers to talk to if you don't want to. You also don't always need to talk to everybody who talks to you. The thing is, you're going to end up in situations where you have no choice. It's better to be well equipped at small talk than to fight it. Fighting it only makes it worse. Instead of small talk, you end up in a fight with the person.
Everyone is a different type of talker too. Some people who talk to you won't be good listeners. Whatever. That's their deal. All you have to do is be a good listener and then fake a phone call to get the hell out of there. Fake a call, look at your phone, then put a worried look on your face and say, "it's my doctor."
21. How to Tie Knots
If you were lucky enough to be in the Boy Scouts MAYBE you remember how to tie multiple knots. I know my Boy Scout troop didn't give me any lasting knowledge. We'd spend 15 minutes learning how to tie knots and that was it. Kids don't exactly have the wherewithal to practice knots for hours like it requires. Why can sailors do it so well? They are forced to tie those knots every single day. Their life depends on it.
Next time you put on Netflix, grab some rope and practice knots. It's like the campfire. If people see you can do that, you can become king of the squad you're in. They'll bring you gifts and pick the bugs out of your hair. Or is that how monkeys work? I think humans and monkeys are similar enough that it should be the same.
22. When to Button a Jacket
This one is important so you can avoid some asshole coming up to you, button the right jackets, and schooling you in front of everyone. Just because you're a dickhead for not knowing which buttons to button, doesn't mean that guy isn't a dickhead for doing that. He should take you aside privately and do it. That's how you know a guy isn't trying to big shot you.
What this diagram doesn't tell you is what to do in the case of two buttons. There is no middle button. What if there are four buttons. Which is technically the middle? These questions come up, so you better be ready to answer them. If you'd like to avoid it all together, wear a Japanese uniform style of jacket with all the buttons up the side. Those are G.
23. How to Escape Zip Ties
Zip ties are the poor man's handcuffs. They work just as well... unless you know this little trick. I know you're not falling in ice and getting zip tie handcuffed all the time, but how hard is it to know this stuff? Not very hard. Then when you're in a life threatening situation, you're the hero. That's all this is about. It's not about waving your skills around like a big ole dick. It's about having the skills when necessary to use them.
Imagine if you and some friends were caught my thugs. Everyone is freaking out. You quietly go through the motions you've played out in your head a million times. Suddenly, you're free. Everyone is like, "bro... are you a Superman?" and then you all will have a debate that there's no such thing as "a Superman." The point is, you'll be free.
24. Meat Cuts and How to Cook Them
Have you ever looked at a steakhouse menu and said, "wow, there are so many cuts. What even the difference between them?" If you have, then you probably looked like an asshole. It's important to know what you're ordering. The cuts of a cow aren't very different. Look at your own body. Squeeze your thigh, then squeeze your ass. Which one felt more appetizing? Maybe that's a disturbing question for you. I don't know.
It doesn't cost much to grill your own steak. Grab a steak you want, which won't be more than ten, and then go to a park and light up a grill. Make sure you know how you like it and can make it yourself. Just don't eat it well done with ketchup. That's the lamest way you can eat steak. You could call it a MIS-steak.
25. How to Shuffle a Deck of Cards
Poker is a manly game. If you play, you're going to end up shuffling the deck at some point. Unless you're at a casino, but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about playing some poker in the den with the boys and a twelve pack. You don't want to be the guy who needs someone else to shuffle for them. It's like when a guy asks another guy to open a soda for him. I hope this has never happened to you, because it's impossible not to react negatively.
There's plenty of guys who suck at poker, but are welcome at any table because of that. As long as you know the rules and shuffle the deck, you'll be welcome too. Read some books about it on your off time and then take them for all their money.
26. How to Shine Shoes
If you're wondering why you need to shine your Vans, that's a sign that you need some more shoes in your arsenal. Every man needs a nice dress shoe. You can't go into some places in your Jordans, no matter how much you paid for them. On top of that, nothing is worse than nice dress shoes that are scuffed up from years of wear. I've been guilty of this and believe me, it doesn't feel good. You feel like a fool.
First, make sure you have some nice dress shoes. Spend $100 bucks at least (unless they're on sale for less, then that's all gravy), and keep those nice. Believe me, people look at shoes and judge. It's ingrained in the human species ever since we evolved from caveman. "No shoes on you? You must be a troglodyte."
27. How to Clean a Fish
Ew, fish. Yucky! Those are three words you should never say in front of people if you want to keep any of their respect. You may have to gut a fish just to impress a girlfriend's father on a fishing trip, or you might be stuck on a deserted island. The only alternate course is to claim that you eat all of the fish, cook it whole, and have at it. I'm not 100% sure, but I'm going to guess you're not supposed to eat the intestines without some sort of special bleaching process. Then again, I don't know because I stay away from intestines.
This is putting a lot on you men, because it takes sushi chefs decades to get to this point. You don't need to be as masterful as a sushi chef, but at least know how to do it.
28. Poker Hand Rankings
This is a smart thing to know just so you don't get hustled. If you go to a table and ask them "did I win?" they might just say no, even if you did. It's not too hard, either. Especially if you play regularly. If you don't play a lot, or maybe it's your first time, look it up on your phone and keep it handy. Just try not to show everyone when you're looking at it. You'll give yourself away quickly.
I'll tell you my poker strategy. I play conservatively until I'm the pot leader, and then I bet all in no everything until I lose it. That makes it so I still have some money left to stay in the game. Did mention that people hate playing with me? Oh, I didn't need to? Got it.
29. How to Skip a Stone
If you never had a dad, or your dad wasn't around, you probably missed this lesson. Many young boys have memories of skipping stones with their fathers. Maybe if you don't, that means that your father didn't know how to skip stones. There's no real point to it other than to do it, which is what makes it such a zen art form. I bet monks love skipping stones.
I feel like it's going to be a lost art as more people stay indoors for social media and videogames. When's the last time you just hung out at a creek? Trust me, it's super fun. People are much more imaginative than they give themselves credit for. Go to the creek, bring a ball, and you're set. You'll find something to do. You might not even have to use the ball.
30. How to Cure a Hangover
I guess this is something you can skip if you don't drink, but let me warn you. This could still be important. Even if this skill doesn't help you, it could help someone else. That's what's important. You might run into a friend or a coworker who drank too much. You could the hero of that situation. Although there is a caveat for that. There are some basic necessities that can cure a hangover, but there's also a bit of self customization involved.
Some just need a big, juicy cheeseburger to cure their hangover. Others would throw up if you mentioned juicy cheeseburgers. Find out what works for you. The fun thing is, you can experiment by getting super drunk! Here's my advice though. Eat a big meal before you're drinking, and before you go to bed. Also, don't drink too much. Duh.
31. How to Sew on a Button
Here's a conversation you don't want to have. "Hey, you're missing a button." / "I know. It's been like that for a year because I don't live with my mom anymore." The only excuse to be missing a button is if it just happened. If you've had time, you can either not wear the shirt, or sew the button on. 7-11 sells sewing kits. It's that easy. Some "men" think that sewing isn't a skill they should know. You're just playing yourself.
I'll admit, that needle is pretty scary. All of a sudden you're in a groove and them POW. It gets you right in a nerve. You think I'm just being a wuss? They make thimbles, tiny finger armor, just because this is such a problem. If it wasn't a big deal then we wouldn't need armor on our fingers.
32. How to Survive a Bear Attack
If you haven't seen 'The Revenant' then you need to see it just for the bear scene alone. I bet it's on Youtube. It's not the best example of surviving a bear attack, but it is entertaining. It really shows you the worst that could happen (other than death). There are some fates worse than death, like having your penis eaten off. That's an emotionally scarring experience.
You have to make sure you do these tips, because it's not like you can run, realize you messed up, and then try to do these steps. They only work if you do them right away. Even then, they might not work. You can hedge your bets by never going to the woods, but even then, bears have been known to go into the city. There is no safety!
33. How to Escape from a Moving Car
There's a great scene in the movie 'Lady Bird' where this happens. It's not a spoiler, so don't worry. It happens right at the beginning and she does it just to prove a point. There's nothing cooler than jumping out of a moving car like that. It's the ultimate "I don't give a crap move." That's not the only time to use this move though. You might actually need it to survive.
If your brakes go out, or you're being kidnapped in a car, you may need to jump out of the car. The car won't be slowing down anytime soon, so sooner is better than later. Wouldn't you rather jump out of a car than hurl off of a cliff? Or even worse, get taken to a weird sex dungeon? Either could be your fate if you don't learn this skill.
34. How to Live a Regret Free Life
This one sounds quite challenging, doesn't it? It's only 10am and I've already done twenty things I regret. This article is one of them. What we're talking about here is really more akin to being on your deathbed and looking back at your life. Do you regret everything? Sure, there will be little things you said or did, but overall how does it look? Nothing on this list is easy to sustain. You can't just flip a switch and follow these things. They take work, but the work is worth it.
In the United States, quality of life is a little shitty. Not because we don't have luxuries, but because most people connect purpose with how much money they make. That's simply not work it works. That money will be gone when you die. You have to live for yourself.
35. How to Get Out of the Friend Zone
Let's make one thing clear here. This isn't to say that there shouldn't be friend zones and that men don't need to respect that. If a girl doesn't want to be with you like that, that's just it. It doesn't mean you should break through the friend zone. What it means is that you need to make your intentions clear. If you like a girl, you need to tell her and then gauge her response. Be direct and you'll get a direct response back.
Too many guys stay in the friend zone because they never make their intentions known. That's what will make you look like a creep. The second thing that will make you look like a creep is when she tells you she just wants to be friends and you keep pushing. That's a creep move for sure.
36. How to Throw a Bachelor Party
If you're lucky, one day you'll get to be the one who plans a bachelor party. Then again, maybe you're the type of person who doesn't have any friends. That can happen too. Even worse, you may be in a situation where the guy who planned it didn't know what he was doing. Either way, you'll need to know how to throw one so that you can either make your friend happy, or be the guy who saves the day.
If you want to throw a great bachelor party, make it exactly as cliche as you think it should be. It's everyone's job to accept that that's what's going to happen. It's kind of like church. Hear me out. Is there any activity that's especially fun about church? Not really, but it's important that you go through all of those motions still.
37. Which Forks to Use
The bad thing about being in a dinner situation where you have 4-6 different kinds of forks is that the people there will definitely judge you for not knowing them. You'd think that people would be understanding with that many forks, but no. You're in the last place to confuse your salad fork with your crab fork. Even if you're not dealing with more than two forks, it's important to know which is which.
Just don't be the guy who uses that knowledge as an excuse to go, "um, actually, you're eating your salad with a cake fork." It's a quick road to mansplaining. It's better just to confidently use your different forks and wait for someone to ask you. You might end up marrying the person who asks you. It's a total meet cute.
38. How to Prank Your Friends
Pranking is a great way to bond with your friends. Unless you do it wrong, then it is a great way to ruin your friendship. It's very fine line between joyous prank and cruelty. A bad prank is just bullying. A good prank shows everyone that you're thoughtful. A surprise party is essentially a prank. It's the nicest prank you could pull. Shaving someone's head in their sleep is not a nice prank. It's just mutilating someone.
There's a rule that I like to start with. It's only a prank if you're not actually doing the thing to a person. For example, if you pretend you're a masked killer and scare your friend, that's a prank. If you actually stab them, that's not a prank. I've seen Youtube videos where a white guy will call a black person the N word and call that a prank. That's not a prank. That's you calling someone the N word. Don't be that person.
39. Measurement Conversions
This is one of those embarrassing things that many adults don't know: measurement conversions. To my memory, we only spent fifteen minutes talking about conversions in class. That was back in the 2nd grade. They should have tested us every day on that. Nonetheless, it's not anyone's fault but yours for not knowing your conversions as an adult. You don't want to be the guy who checks the recipe and can't even make it because he doesn't know how many tbsps in a cl.
It's easy to rely on the internet for these things, but you can't retain knowledge by looking it up every once in a while. One day you won't have the internet with you. You better pray that it's not a life and death situation that relies on your knowledge of measurement conversions.
Whiskey is no doubt one of the manliest drinks. It's what you imagine cowboys to have drank in the old west. In fact, I think that's all they drank since the water was filled with parasites. There's nothing manlier than some whiskey on ice, but that's not the only way to drink whiskey. There are tons of tasty cocktails you can make with it in case you have a lady friend, or a feminine male friend, who want some whiskey.
Mixing good drinks is a great skill to have. If you go to house parties, you'll often see that there are people who are very confident in their drink-making abilities. It's a fifty fifty shot whether they're actually good or not. Confidence doesn't always mean guaranteed success. In fact, it often means the person sucks.
41. Beer Classifications
No one's asking you to be a beer aficionado. All you need to do is to be able to know what kind of beer you like, at the very least. Just go a tad bit further in your knowledge and you will know what the main types of beer are. Nothing annoys me more than seeing a guy at the bar ask for a beer and not know what he wants. "Do you have something that's, like, really light?" Dude, just figure it out. You either want a lager, IPA, stout, and that's about it. Most places won't even have that many choices.
It's kind of like whiskey in that it can seem a little complicated but it's not very complicated at all. Once you master the beer you like, that's all you need. Tell people you're an IPA guy, for example, and you don't even need to talk about the other beers.
42. The Meaning Behind Different Flowers
First off, if you've got a girl and you're not giving her flowers at least once a month, you're a monster. They are not that expensive. I usually just go and get a $4 bouquet every month and then she's happy. It's literally the least you can do. If you think your girlfriend wouldn't like that, you're an idiot. You're making excuses. Go get that girl flowers regularly and I swear to you, things will start to get good. If you're thinking, "things are already really good with me and my girl." Well then, get her some flowers and she'll suck the soul out of you.
DIfferent flowers have different meanings. That means both color and type. Figure out what they mean and tell your girlfriend why you got her those specific flowers. That'll impress for sure. Say goodbye to your soul.
43. Speed Read
Speed reading is reading very quickly. Now, let me tell you why this is here on the list, even though it may seem like a superhuman skill. If I just put "reading," then you'd think I take you all for idiots. I assume you can read, but actually partaking in the activity of reading on a regular basis is a different story. A great man is a learned man. There's literally no scientifics study that will tell you that not reading is better for you than reading.
If you're going to read, might as well speed read. Start off with one book a month. Believe me, there is time. The amount of time men spend on the toilet going #2 is enough time to finish a book in a month. I know from experience. Lots of experience.
44. How to Tie a Bow Tie
You thought you'd escape without being told you need to learn how to tie a bow tie? I told you before how difficult it is to tie one, and I wasn't playing around. Your fingers have to find the tiniest of spots to bend and fold the tie. The good thing is, nothing makes you look cooler. Have you ever seen someone in a bow tie that didn't look well put together? It's a statement piece. The statement is, "I know how to tie a bow tie, sucka!"
The first time I tried to tie a bow tie I almost had a panic attack. It had been twenty minutes of me trying. It just wasn't happening despite my best efforts. Then, it finally happened. I felt so proud. Everyone ended up assuming it was just a clip on anyway, but I knew the truth.
45. How to Get Into a Nightclub
Getting into a nightclub can be frustrating, especially if you don't know how to do it. You know the classic trope in movies where five ugly guys are waiting in line for the club and end up never getting in? That trope is true. You've got to finesse and play the game.
Did you know that you can party in Las Vegas for practically free? Here are some tips. The first one is well known. Get a dollar and go sit at the penny slots. The waitresses will give you free drinks if you're planning, even if it's just the penny machines. The other tip is to find a pack of five or six pretty girls, chat them up and tell them that you can get them into a club for free. Take them to a club and privately go up to the bouncer and tell him that you have six hot girls with you. There's a high chance he'll let you and them in for free. The girls will think you had some special connection, when really it was all them.
46. The Different Types of Beer Glasses
If Whiskey is important, you better believe that beer is important. In fact, the combination of the two of those is called a boilermaker. Men drink whiskey and beer. OK, so sometimes I'll stray from that and get a peachtini or something like that, but at the least I know my beer. If you don't like beer, you may not have had it in the best glass. No, not all beer was made the same. Some glasses make that type of beer taste better.
Did you ever wonder why there are so many different types of glasses? They all enhance the beer. You know the typical beer glass. It's tall, and fans out? That's not even a glass meant for beer. It's just the most common bar glass. There's a fun fact for you to use.
47. The Different Types of Coffee
You can't drink beer and whiskey all the time. In the morning you've got to drink coffee. Even if you don't want to. The hotter and blacker, the better. Everyone will be like, "whoa, look how black and hot that guys coffee is. He must be bad ass." I'm being more than a little facetious, but like any of these man-things, it's all about being knowledgeable. Not so you can throw it in everyone's fact, but so you can help others and always make the right decision for yourself.
I'll go off of coffee for a week or two, but it always draws me back. I don't need it as in need it every day, but I do need it in my life. They say do everything in moderation, which is also a quality that a man must possess.
48. Where the Clitoris Is
At this point, it's pretty embarrassing if you can't confidently say where the clitoris is if you're a teenage or adult man. We have plenty of resources to find it, including asking women. Like, women have literally written hundreds of in depth articles about how to pleasure them, yet so many men can't do it. That's not to say every woman gets pleasure the same way, but there are some commonalities. The clitoris will rarely go wrong, to say the very least.
Do yourself, and every woman you come into sexual contact with, a favor and learn about the clitoris. If you think you know, go look it up again just to make sure. About halfway are probably wrong, or know less than you think you do. The ladies can thank me later.
49. Where the G Spot Is
If you're thinking, "don't try to fool me. The G spot IS the clitoris," I think you better sit down for this one. It's not. I'm going to throw some shame your way. If you don't know where this is, you're a lazy asshole who has never made a woman feel good in your life. You may think you have, but you haven't. I know that sucks to hear, but go look up the G spot, do your research, and then change your ways.
Maybe I was lucky to grow up with watching sex hotline shows that always talked about these spots on women. Those shows never talked about spots on the penis because it's not hard for anyone to figure out. There's no easier contraption on Earth. Sometimes it'll go off if you just look at it.
50. Self Defense
It's not every man's job to fight, but it's every man's duty to protect. I would never want to fight or get into an altercation at all, but I equally don't want to be defenseless when trouble comes my way. Or god forbid if it came a loved one's way. How about trouble just stay in its own lane?
If you can't afford to go to a karate or krav maga school, at least look up some online videos and do push ups. You want to have the confidence to warn a guy not to come any closer, knowing that if he does you can light him up. There's no better feeling than that confidence. Well, there's the feeling of going to a party and not fighting at all. That's a better feeling, but you know what I mean.