There are many ways to break your brain. You could use a baseball bat, partake in heavy drug use, or you could look at these pictures. Seriously, I think looking through this slideshow has the same effect on your brain as using magic mushrooms. Not that I would know what that's like, mom...
Seriously though, if you'd like to know what it's like to lose your mind, just scroll through here and convince yourself that what you're looking at is actually what it appears to be. You'll see what I mean once you get scrolling. You'll be thinking, "does that baby have an old man head?"
Sit back and get ready for your brain to melt. I know that might not sound like the most fun activity, but trust me, once your brain is melted, you won't even care. Your brain will be melted after all, so you won't care about anything. Number 15 may be extra brain-breaking.
1. Two years four hundred months
You have to ask yourself what's creepier, a baby body with an old man head, or an old man body with a baby head. Which would you rather have chasing you? And before you try to think which one would be slower, let's say they can both run ten miles an hour without needing rest. Now which one would you choose? Or would you rather not think about either because the image is horrifying? Yeah, me too.
This kid is looking two years and four hundred months old. That's the Benjamin Button gene, which is what we all want. Why not be old and useless when you're born? That would be awesome. When you're first born people want to take care of you, even if you're ugly. By the time you're old no one wants to take care of you anymore, plus you're all gross.
2. Safe in my tiny arms
Every child deserves to feel safe in their mother's arms, unfortunately if your arms are the size of chicken legs, your kid can never be all that safe in your arms. You can't raise a child with arms that small. It's not just protecting them. Think about spankings. How is your child supposed to fear you, in turn fearing the world, if you've got tiny little hands? Teaching your child to fear the hand is a necessity to raising a good citizen.
Luckily this woman does not actually have small arms. Her child has normal arms positioned just the right way so that it looks like they are her arms. She has no idea how creepy that smile looks as she rubs her tiny, delicate hands together like some kind of evil villain, about to bust out her villain laugh.
3. The Same Hairline
I think the universe sends us signs to tell us we're on the right path, or that we're spending time with the right people. If you look out for those signs, the universe will reward you with good things or lasting relationships. Here's the thing, I'm not just talking about human to human relationships. I'm talking about human to animal relationships too. Has anyone ever told you that you look like an animal? And let me clarify. I mean that they are saying that you look like the human version of that animal. If someone says you literally look like an animal, slap them.
If you look like your pet, then that's a sure sign that you two are supposed to be together. This guy and his cat are a perfect example. A just God wouldn't give a man that hairline unless it was to specifically match up with a cat.
4. Living in a Cartoon
If I was walking in a field and came across this, I'd assume that a Roger Rabbit situation had occurred. That would mean that the cartoon world and the real world melded. That seems like a lot of fun, but imagine having to deal with Bugs Bunny in real life? That dude is a crafty jerk. You'd come home one day and find that Bugs Bunny is in your home. You try to come in but then a Bouncer Bug Bunny answers the door asking for ID. You can see hundreds of other Bugs Bunnies behind him, dancing. Bugs Bunny says your ID is fake and puts you in jail with Prisoner Bugs Bunny who tortures you more.
That sounds like a realistic depiction of dealing with Bugs Bunny, right? Luckily this is just a sculpture that is made to look like a cartoon.
5. Nice Legs, Dude
I say go and check out anyone you want. If you're a guy and see a guy worth checking out, do it. If you're a girl and see a girl worth checking out, do it. Nice legs are nice legs no matter who they're on. Am I right, fellas? *Dead silence falls over the room.* This picture gives you the sense that homeboy goes through a lot of trouble to keep those legs smooth. He probably has two subscriptions to the dollar shave club. Look closer and that's not the case. He's sitting on a chair while a girl, the true owner of the gorgeous gams, puts him in a love choke hold behind him.
Now you straight male readers don't need to feel so conflicted, but maybe you'll think twice the next time you see a guy with nice legs. *Dead silence falls over the room again.*
6. Optical Wheelusion
This bicyclist is going to have a hard time riding his bike with one wheel the shape of an oblong. Quick aside, remember the Will Ferrell show The Oblongs? Now that's a show that I miss. Back to the bike. The wheel is not bent. Just look at the reflection which shows a perfectly round wheel. How could this be you ask? Well, it's a matter of different scientific terms that I don't know. Something something refraction? Who knows.
One time I found a bike in an alley so I took it. Quickly I found out that the chain would fall off if you rode too quickly. I took it to a youth center and one of the guys who worked there asked if he could test out the bike. Before I could answer, or warn him about the chain, he took off on it, pretending he was stealing it. As you can guess, the chain broke and he crashed really hard. Lesson learned. Never pretend to steal a bike.
The ocean is a terrifying place. Hell, the lake is a terrifying place. Any body of water that inhabits life is very terrifying. Oceans especially since we don't really know all that's down there. The types of weird creatures that live in the oceans depths are like things out of Tim Burton films. They are nightmarish. These are things that can survive crushing depths where they've never known light. Maybe down in the deep there is a fish with human arms like this. Hopefully not though. We don't need that kind of drama in our lives. We can barely handle living in a world with people a different skin color than us. I can't imagine how people's brains would fry having to deal with fish people.
Thanks to some perfect positioning, this fish had arms for a single frame of its life.
8. Island in the Tune of D Minor
I don't really know how to explain how nature would create something that looks exactly like a man made creation. There's got to be some word for that. It would be a German word most definitely. You can always count on the German language to have words for highly specific concepts. You can also count on them to sound angry. Enough about Germans and more about how nature saw our creation of the violin and thought, "I want to do that too."
I wonder if one day nature will make a mountain that looks like me. One day people will be walking around in the countryside and think, "wow, that mountain looks familiar. It looks like Julio Childress, that dude who ran that sex cult that everybody left after the first hour, and ended up dying a lonely death."
9. Picturesque, literally
If you don't catch why this looks weird right away, I don't blame you. The more you just look at the picture, the more it starts to mess with your mind. As beautiful as it is, it's not a picture you want to look at for a long time. There are too many depths of field for my eyes to adjust. I've already been staring at a screen for sixteen hours. I don't need any more obstacles in my life. Let me give you a guide to looking at this so you can have maximum pleasure.
Imagine the very center of the frame is a photo that someone is holding up. That's when you'll start to get dizzy. This is like a Yanny/Laurel situation. For a second it looks like someone holding up a picture, and then it starts to look like just a regular scenic background.
10. Harambe Visiting Us
I talked about following signs earlier. Well, sometimes those signs aren't necessarily the universe telling us a path to follow, rather the signs can be someone saying hello. Harambe must have been looking down on us from heaven and saw these two living their lives of friendship, so he decided to come visit us in the form of their shadow. If you don't remember who Harambe is, then I have no time for you, but since I want to preserve his memory, let me tell you.
A couple years ago a child fell into a gorilla catch. That gorilla? Harambe. Harambe tried to protect the kid, but the jittery public saw his actions as aggression, so they stole his life from him. He may be gone, but he's not forgotten. I love you, Harambe. I miss you so much.
11. Accidents Happen
I live in constant fear of unwittingly having a stain on my crotch. The fear is always there, so I'm constantly looking down or brushing at my crotch. Now, even knowing that, that sounds like it would be weird to have to be around. Imagine not knowing about my struggle, like every other stranger that has to be around me. Needless to say, it's a problem. This guy looks like he's suffering my worst nightmare, but he's not. It's just as bad though. The stain on this plexiglass podium makes it look like he peed his own pants. If everyone is going to think you peed your own pants, then you might as well do it.
I've never tried a see through podium, but I've always loved podiums in general. That's a product I can stand behind. That's an old joke from generations ago.
12. She Thicc
At first I was staring at this picture thinking, "dang, she is thicc. What's her name? Who is she?" I thought I was in love. Never had I ever seen a girl this thicc before. It just didn't make any sense. I couldn't stop thinking about her. Then I realized that I was looking at the back half of a zebra, and this woman is riding the zebra. After going to three weeks of continuous therapy, I was finally able to look at the picture again.
Why hire visual effects companies to make computer animated half-human half-beasts. Just have every actor wear a long coat and shoot them from behind. There you go, Hollywood. I just saved you millions of dollars. That might put some computer animators out of work, but they could use some time off. They should go out to the beach and get some sun for once.
13. "I'm All Ears"
You know how people say, "I'm all ears" if you're about to tell them a story. If this guy ever told me, "I'm all ears," i'd respond, "no, you aren't. You aren't any ears." People say I'm a cruel person. Oh, well. Actually, I don't know if this guy doesn't have any ears or not, or if this is an optical illusion I have never quite figured out. There's got to be something wrong with his head, even if this is some type of illusion. He's got the head the shape of a thumb. To be quite honest, I'd rather not see his face either. If the back of his head is this messed up, I don't want to see the front of it.
This might be one of those panorama shot mishaps. If you don't have a tripod on a panorama shot, it can look like a nightmare.
14. So That's How They Eat
I mean, I know I kind of showed how much of a weird I am when we were talking about that zebra lady earlier, but you might not be ready for this next one. I think I might be catching feelings for this thing. It's really trying to grab my attention. Anyway, enough about that. I had no idea this is how large sea snails ate. I'm not sure I've ever thought about how large sea snails eat at all. Sea snails seashells by the seashore. Am I right, or am I right? <- That's how you can tell the coffee just kicked in, folks.
This is proof of how crazy sea life is. This sea snail is going to somehow eat that shelled creature. A snail is soft. A shell is hard. Yet somehow it pulls it off.
15. Seizure Warning
This one comes with a seizure warning. Watch out, people. This will send you into a seizure faster than Chinpokomon (the Pokemon rip off from South Park). Before you go crazy thinking that we put a gif in this list, let me break it to you. That's not a gif. The fact that it's moving is just your brain dying from the over stimulation. I'm imagining that's what it is. Maybe my hangover is affecting my take on reality.
Maybe you're staring at this wondering what the hell I'm talking about. That's probably because you can't see well or your computer monitor sucks. Through a mixture of science and art, this collage constantly moves while you look at it. I wonder if this would work on a shirt print. Imagine a shirt that looks like it was always moving. Trippy.
16. Micro Machines
There is a high likelihood that there is some photoshop going on in this. Not a whole lot, but a little bit. Maybe enough to move his jacket so it looks a little more trippy than it is. Then again, I have no idea. I've been staring at different parts of this picture for a while now. After my third nosebleed I decided that I better chill out and take a break. It was a deep red colored blood, so I knew it was from the brain.
I think the orange car might be a toy on a surface in front of him, while the other car is a real car behind him. They also might both be real. This man could also be a giant. You never know with these things. I like to keep a childlike wonder about me though, so I'll go with giant.
17. Reflecting on Life
Let's not add to the chaos of some of these pictures by shooting them upside down! I had to do a handstand just to figure out the truth here. I ended up breaking all my lamps in the process. I have a lot of lamps too. You'd think I'd just flip the monitor around, but in the middle of trying all those handstands, the thought didn't' cross my mind. You could say I was in the zone, despite the outcome.
The reflection of the water, mixed with the orientation of the photo, makes this look like a construction out of Inception. If a movie could go on this list, Inception would have made the cut. That movie belongs on 50 Movies that Will Break Your Brain. That would be a fun list, but that's like a hundred hours of your life. You have better things to do than that.
18. The King of Pop Returns
What I don't understand is how anyone even gets the idea to do this. "You know what would be cool? A picture that you have to cross your eyes to see." Then you have to go through the process of figuring out how to do it. This artist must have crossed their eyes so much that they ended up staying that way. And for what? Just to have a picture that would later show up on 50 Pictures That Will Break Your Brain?
I can get behind the tribute to Michael Jackson though. He truly was the King of Pop, and he did so much for black musicians that you can't deny his greatness. I also don't believe any of the rumors or allegations. They were coming for Michael's money. He certainly had problems, but Michael was a good person.
19. Small, Medium, Large
The thing that you won't believe about this image is that all three of those cars are actually the same size. Don't believe me? I don't blame you. I'm a well known liar. In fact, my nickname is, "hey, you're that liar who conned me out of thousands of dollars, aren't you?" Yep, people call me Julio "hey, you're that liar who conned me out of thousands of dollars, aren't you?" Childress. It's a tough nickname to get down, but none of my friends have ever had a hard time remembering it.
I don't know how this visual trick works, but it does. If you have editing software, cut out each car and place them on top of each other. Like you're going to do all that though. Why would you? The chances of me lying are ninety percent, but not this time.
20. "It was a foreclosure"
Come check out the worst house in the world. When you're inside, you're outside. Want to go inside? Good luck finding out how. The thing is, in certain neighborhoods this house would still go for two million dollars. In my old neighborhood, which has no been overrun with rich engineers, a house sold for two million dollars. Nothing special about that, right? The house was burned down. That's how messed up the housing prices are there.
I do love this art style. A famous artist known as MC Escher used to make artwork like this. One of his most famous paintings of a never ending staircase was used in the movie Labyrinth. Not the painting, but the actual concept. It's quite trippy if I do say so myself. I'm going to go ahead and say it myself. It's quite trippy.
21. Scroll Up and Down
Do people still listen to music with a visualizer in the background? That's when there would be some trippy design playing to the beat of your music. I haven't had one of those on in the background for years. Maybe it's a thing though. I can't keep up. The reason why I bring it up is because this image could make a nice self-controlled visualizer. Just scroll up and down to the beat of the music and you get a nice little pulsing image. I don't know about you, but I find that impressive, and I'm not easily impressed. Now, let me tell you about this fantastically shiny penny I found earlier.
You can also get the wiggle effect by moving your head around, but it's more pronounced when you scroll up and down. Plus, you don't get a headache from all the head banging.
22. This Image Has Been Flagged
This image has been flagged. Not because it has inappropriate content. It has literally been flagged. The reason this woman looks like she's floating on a magic carpet is because a nearby flag is casting the perfect shadow to make it look like that. You have to love perfect timing like that. This lady was probably wondering why she was gaining such a big crowd. "Wow, this many people don't usually show up to my lectures on turtle mating." / "WE'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU'RE FLOATING."
This picture is so good that it's frameable, but if you were to crop the bottom part, it's one of the most boring pictures ever taken. Funny how it works like that. It takes all the element together or else it just doesn't work. Like eating tomato sauce and calling it a pizza.
23. Dude, Don't Fall
This is what we professionals call The Batman Trick. We call this the Batman trick because in the old Batman television show, they would have shots of Batman and Robin climbing up the sides of buildings. Since they couldn't reasonably shoot them actually climbing up the side of a building, they had a better idea. What they did was make a floor that looked like the side of a building and turned the camera on its side. Then the actors just acted as if they were scaling a building. Don't fear for this guy's health because that's exactly what he's doing.
Look further "down" and you can see that that's not a pit at all. That's a hallway. We all learned from an early age that hallways don't go straight down. All is well, though he is laying on the ground so he could still get a disease or something.
24. The Next David Blaine
Everyone is equally creeped out as they are enamored by David Blaine's magical antics. The dude has done everything to possibly freak us out. He's levitated, like this guy (more on that later), he's held his breath for an insane amount of time, he's been shot in the mouth (more on that later too), and he's even stabbed himself. Who knew to be the next David Blaine all you needed was a wet circle of cement a few feet in front of you. The illusion is pretty good here, though not quite magic carpet lady good.
Let me tell you about how David Blaine was shot in the mouth. There's a special about it. The trick is simple. He puts a bulletproof cup in his mouth and then someone shoots him in the face. A trick doesn't get any simpler folks.
25. World's Most Attractive Man?
I think it's pretty hard for there to be a consensus on who the most attractive man in the world is. It's too hard to judge off of subjective factors. We need objectivity to figure it out. Here's my take. If your face looks the same from the front as it does to the side, then you're the most attractive man. There's some serious symmetry going on for that to be true. Then again, seeing as this image must be edited, the reality of what I just described might be horrific.
This is kind of like pictures of Batman and Wolverine that I've seen. In one angle it looks like Batman, and from another it looks like Wolverine. This is the millennial version of that picture. It's true what they say. Millennials ruin everything, don't they?
26. It's Not How It Looks
It's not how it looks. Those are the same words I've said a million times to different girlfriends and lovers. The thing is, and I don't know if they ever knew this, but it was how it looked. I have a sneaking suspicion that they knew that, but you can never tell. Some people aren't open. Speaking of things not being how they look, this paper is not in tent form. It's actually flat. I bet you could tell that though, because the image already told you so. I hate when images do my job for me. They're going to put me out of work, I tell you.
The piece of paper itself warns you that things aren't as they seem. "Your eyes tell lies." I'm going to have to use that one next time I get caught doing something. "Sorry, officer, but your eyes tell lies."
27. Flat Earth
This is going to give flat Earthers some new ammunition isn't it? Later in the second paragraph I'll tell you about the forty eight hours I was a flat Earther, but for now, let's think about this. If it's reasonable to think that this looks like a globe from a certain angle, it's reasonable to assume that the same thing could be happening when photos of the Earth are taken. You're probably wondering how that's possible if someone were to go to the other side. The thing is, there is no other side to go on. There is only up, so the only "space" is right above the flat disc. I'm starting to sound like a flat Earther, aren't I?
One night after a few beers I ended up watching some flat Earther videos and convincing myself it was true. I think I was in search of God. For a brief forty eight hours I found God in being a flat Earther.
28. GO INTO YOUR BUCKET PRISON!
This is the kind of thing we do to bugs and small animals, but it feels so cruel when it's happening to us. Think about it. Haven't you taken a box or a bottle and put it over a cat or a bug respectively? We've all done it just to see what the animal will do. They hate it and they freak out. Imagine if you were on the beach like these people and then a giant put a bucket over you. The first thing you'd do is start to scream and punch the bucket.
I like how this woman's reaction is to shield the child, as if they were about to be crushed instead of trapped. If anything she's helping the kid get caught. She should be throwing the child out of the way so it can run and have a fighting chance.
29. What Do We Call This?
I'm going to quiz you to see if you've been listening to me this whole time. Try not to cheat, although it'll be easy to do because all you'll have to do is scroll up. You don't even need to go into Google or anything. Still. Don't cheat. Now here's the question. What did we call this type of photo effect. CUE JEOPARDY MUSIC. OK, time's up. I'll give you the answer in the next paragraph. Wait, I didn't think this through. Your wandering eyes might see the answer in paragraph two. Oh well. I bet you got it right.
It's the Batman Effect! If this photo were real, nobody would be making wise decisions in it. Riding your bike can be dangerous enough. Doing it on a six inch ledge sounds like an even worse idea.
30. I Can't Stand This
It's really unfair that you can't reach out and grab this thing to figure out how the hell it works. I keep staring at it, but my nose blood is only getting darker. It's almost black now, which means my brain is running out of fluid. If I don't finish this article up quickly, I'll be catatonic by the end of it. I think the world would be a better place if we could reach into a picture and touch it. Think about how fun shopping would be. You could be looking at a catalogue and feel the fabric.
If that were reality, things could get really weird. You'd have to make sure your ex boyfriend didn't have any photos of you or else you might suddenly feel a hand brush your cheek followed by a tear.
31. Watch Where You're Stepping, Bro
If there really were birds that large, I don't think any of us would be walking so casually anywhere. Signs telling you not to feed the birds wouldn't do any good. You might not have a choice. "Remember, there's no feeding the birds." / "Um, I don't think I can help it. The bird just took off with my arm." It's terrifying. You think getting pooped on is bad? What if it were three buckets full? The weight of the poop alone might destroy you.
Some birds have been killing my goldfish lately. Before you think my life is crazy, no these goldfish were not in a tiny bowl indoors. The goldfish were in my pond, swimming safely until one day some nasty bird came and got them. I'll never forget their bubbles of fear.
32. Star Wars Boat
"That boat is floating." / "That's good. Boats are supposed to float." "No, I mean it's floating more than normal." I use this dialogue to illustrate that it's hard to describe a floating boat. It's one thing if the boat is flying. In that case it's a flying boat. Everyone gets that, but if it's just floating there in air, it feels less impressive.
If you follow my work, then you know I'm a big Star Wars fan (seriously, follow my work. It's all over this website). This photo makes me very happy because it reminds me of Jabba the Hutt's cruise in Return of the Jedi. It's the cruise that he's famously killed in my Princess Leia in the gold bikini. A lot of people died on that barge that die. All of them were bad guys, of course, but it's still a little sad. One of them was Boba Fett, after all.
33. When You Run Out of Paper Space
Let me share a fact about myself. I'm an artist. Like the drawing kind. I can draw pretty well. If you're like me, an artist who doesn't plan well, then this situation might happen to you. You're drawing something and doing a great job. I mean like an undeniably good job (the way that I draw, you know), and then you realize that you'll never have enough space on one sheet to finish the drawing. What do you do? Bust out another sheet and make that drawing bigger, that's what.
This artist is much better than me, which is hard for me to say, because like I said, I'm really good. It's true though. They'd made their drawing look like a full 3d ship resting on the table. If it were colored, you'd have no question that it was a model ship sitting on the table.
34. Wood You Please Explain This?
This is the type of illusion that would get people marked as witches back in the old days. There was probably some clever genius woodworker who got the idea to make this (let me clarify that I have no idea how this is made or what it is), so he made it and showed everyone. Their feeble brains couldn't process it so he was immediately labeled a warlock. That's what people do. They don't understand something you're saying and you're immediately labeled a witch or a warlock. People, am I right?
I really need to hold this in my hand to fully understand what's going on. It's not a good use of my mental energy to spend another day looking at this picture. Even my friends and my family are starting to worry about how much I'm looking at these photos, and the obvious damage looking at them is doing to my brain.
35. You Tell Me
If I looked at this picture without any text, there would be no question that this was a picture of two raccoons descending down a mountain. The blue sky sits above them as a rock inexplicably flies through the air on the right. That would have been my reality for the rest of time. If someone would have asked me if I saw that photo of the racoons leaving the lake, I would have said no. What did you see first, the sky or the lake?
It's obviously the water, but I like the idea that it is the sky. Imagine that rock flying through the air. Is it going to hit one of them? There's a lot of tension in this photo when you imagine it as a sky. As a lake the only tension is whether or not an alligator lies in wait to eat one of those raccoons.
36. I never knew that about Mario
Mario Lopez is a huge television and radio celebrity. He really shouldn't be either. I don't mean that as an insult to his character. If I wanted to insult his character you'd know it. You'd be very upset because I'd insult his character so hard. What I mean to say is that he has somehow made it out of the meat grinder that is child acting. Not many emerged from Saved by the Bell in a better position than Mario Lopez. Considering all that fame, I never knew he had a baby arm.
A guy as attractive as Mario Lopez should have to suffer from having a baby arm. Girls would still be into him. It'd prove to all those ugly baby armed men that women just don't like them because they're ugly or mean, not because of their baby arm.
37. Men From Another Dimension
Either these guys are meticulously detail oriented and ultimate planners, or they are time warlocks from space. It has to be either one of those things. There are no other explanations that make sense to me. You see, I don't really understand the whole meticulously detail oriented/ultimate planner angle of it all because I myself am not a any of those things. I haven't even planned the end of this sentence yet. Phew. Lucked out on that one ending well.
I miss doing things like this with friends. One day someone would call you and say "let's go to the park. I have an idea for a picture." Then you'd just go to the park and take a picture. That was a good old fashioned time. I used to get a lot of those calls. Then one day the calls just stopped coming.
38. Don't Stare at the Table
"Honey, why aren't you eating your chicken nuggets?" / "Because the table is staring at me." What an ornate design. Is that Morrissey? This better be a vegan meal if we're going to have Morrissey staring at us the entire time. If an entire dinner must be spent with this face, could they have at least put a smile on it? Get a piece of watermelon and make a nice little smiling mouth. Everybody would love that.
As much as I love a beautifully set table, it feels counter productive to me. Let me help you understand by describing how I eat. The way I eat could best be described as Knight who just came back from battle. I prefer a wood picnic table with assorted meats that you grab with your hands. The only way to wash your hands is to dunk them in big barrels of water. Get the picture?
39. Love Signs
Here's one of those signs we were talking about. I bet if these two had ended up talking instead of passing each other by, they would have found the loves of their lives. I'm talking about the guy and the dog. Just kidding. The dog is definitely interested in something, but forget I said anything about him. The dude in this picture is definitely noticing the girl, but she doesn't seem to care too much about him (although her shadow does say otherwise).
Fellas, I don't know if you heard lately, but women don't like to be stared at while they go about their day. That's at least the vibe that I've been getting. If you're going to stare, at least wear some sunglasses. Have the decency to hide your eye line. Then everyone is happy.
40. Bearded Lady
"Hey, Todd. We heard you have a new girlfriend. Do you have a picture?" / "... No." / "Really? Not one picture? I don't think she's real." / "Fine.. but the picture is a little weird." That's when Todd shows them this picture and for the rest of his life he's known as Mr. Bearded Lady. Of course they never say this in front of Mrs. Bearded Lady in fear that she would stop serving them pizza rolls when they come over for Sunday games.
We're probably getting pretty close to a time in American society where more women will walk around freely with beards. A lot of people will freak out about such a big societal shift, but it's whatever. I give up on fighting anything. That's why this pitbull has been tearing at my leg for two straight days and I've done nothing about it.
41. This Guy Can't Get Ahead in Life
I know that this man is trying to trick us, and I even see how he's trying to trick us. Neither of those is the problem. The problem that I can't figure out is what his endgame is. What does this man want from us? Does he simply want chaos? Does he want us pinned down by the savage unknown of where a man's head may or may not be? Could a man thrive off of such a perverse desire? Could he even be called a man? Most likely he's just having a good time, trying to get a laugh from his friends. I may have gotten a little too serious on that one.
This is a really fun way to walk into a room. If you can successfully pull this off, I can guarantee that you'll be the life of the party.
42. A Fan Neck Nuzzle
Say what you will about the Spurs. You can knock where they rank in the division, or any other random fact that I am ignorant to, but there is one thing you have to give them credit for: They know how to treat their fans. I mean, look at this. One of their players is kissing a fan gently on the neck simply for holding up their jersey. That's a beautiful connection between player and fan. Wait, that's not what's happening. Ooooh. I see. I guess I can cancel my Spurs jersey order.
I wonder where this rivalry between father and son started. Why did the son diverge into being a Spurs fan? How badly did the father hurt him for him to want to do that? All these question and more on the next Maury.
43. Bad Wedding Photographer
There's no more photographer more important than a wedding photographer. There are many events and situations where a bad photo can easily be laughed off. It adds to the experience. At a wedding, that's not the case. Everything needs to look perfect or else the wife will curse the husband with unhappiness forever. At least, that's what I read in an article on... let me check... it was Men's Right Monthly- oops. Maybe that article isn't as reputable as I thought.
There's nothing wrong with having a couple of little person bridesmaids, but I'm sure these women would rather not remember this day as the day they stood three foot five inches. Women already have to wear heels to be taller and thinner. This just makes the heels an entirely moot point. They'd need stilts.
44. "Why is no one talking to me?"
Let me tell you something. Nothing will ruin your reputation and popularity faster than people thinking you're associated with the devil. Trust me on this. I've lived through it. One time a friend told me that he was once possessed by a demon, so I kicked him out of my house. I don't have room for that type of thing in my life. Like I said, nothing will ruin your reputation and popularity faster than people thinking you're associated with the devil.
This picture looks like it's from a time when people only had about four pictures of themselves. The film was expensive and everyone was bad at taking photos. If you had a good shot of yourself, you were lucky. You were very unlucky if one of the good shots also happened to make you look like Lucifer.
45. "Can I Make a Horse?"
I imagine God sitting up in heaven with a bored Jesus. God, knowing Jesus was born (he's all knowing, after all) would say, "what would you like to do son?" Jesus looked up with happy eyes and said, "I'd like to make a horse." Now, Jesus knew that God didn't like him to create things on Earth. That was God's job. Overcome with one of his many frequent moments of compassion, God agreed. "Go ahead, son." Skip to a couple of hours later and we have this.
That's a nice little story, right? I'm not sure if it's offensive to Christians or not. It's not meant to be, though I don't know if everyone is cool with such a relaxed dialogue between God and Jesus. I guess what I'm asking is, should I write a book about this?
46. Ludacris, you play too much
Ludacris may not be in my top five rappers of all time, but he's definitely in the top ten. I get very excited when Ludacris is involved in anything, even a picture in an article like this. He's one of my favorite Fast and the Furious characters, after all. Actually, they are all my favorite, so that's not really a fair thing to say. I tell you all this so that you can understand how excited I would be to find Ludacris hiding in a shirt rack. If I ever found a magic genie lamp, I'd wish to one day find Ludacris hiding in a shirt rack. I know it's far fetched, but I feel like this is my year to find a magic genie lamp.
I really want that shirt now. I would slowly walk around corners so that people would see Ludacris creeping around.
47. Horrible Hiding Spot
This is a truly horrible hiding spot for a cat. Let's not even focus on the fact that half of the cat's body is sticking out. I guess that's enough to make it a bad hiding spot. On top of that, it looks exactly like the cat. I think that's a pretty funny cartoon gag though. A character hides behind a mural that looks exactly like a guilty version of them. If you couldn't tell, I wish I could go back in time to work on Merry Melody cartoons. Go back to my Bugs Bunny description earlier and you'll see that it's my pitch to get a job writing for a Bugs Bunny cartoon. A job I'll never accept because I love writing these articles so much.
I wish my cat was the face of a cat brand. We'd be rich and I'd get to spend it all.
48. Very Good Friends
I gotta say. I thought I was pretty close with my friends. I thought we were one hundred percent comfortable with each other. You know those types of friends. It's the type of friend you can change in front of, or show a mole. Still, we're not this close. It makes me wonder, should I be shoving my hands down my friend's pants? Will that bring us closer? Will that get them to start calling me again? Jesus Christ, what can I do to get them to call me again?
This picture is a good argument for why you should hang out with people that have different shades of skin than you. You won't ever have to worry about something like this happening, and you'll be multicultural, which is woke. We all want to be woke, right?
49. Freak of Nature
I would already posit that a zebra in and of itself is a freak of nature. It's a horse trying to show off. It's a disrespectful animal. I just don't think it has any business with other civilized animals. Then you get a zebra like this and it's even worse. I don't like the look of it. Not one bit. To the glue factory with all of them. Or to the Zebra Stripe Gum factory. Remember that gum? Where my millennials at?
This picture isn't anything you couldn't get out of a sixth grader who just discovered photoshop, but it's still very trippy. The thing that makes a great photo like the ones we've been looking at, is when you think you almost understand how the picture comes together, but then it eludes you at the last moment.
50. You Are Your Own Enemy
I'm going to get deep with this one, or at least as deep as one can get after losing as much brain fluid as I have over the course of staring at all these pictures. This picture depicts both a cat and a mouse at the same time. Two mortal enemies. One is predator. The other is prey. Yet the cat could not exist without the mouse. Without the mouse the cat is nothing but a splat of black, directionless ink. If that is true, then is the cat truly the prey?
The answer is no. Obviously no. Cats have claws and teeth. The mouse is the prey and always will be. Even a giant mouse would be killed by a cat very easily. *The Merry Melodies outro song starts to play*. That's all, folks!
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