There's no way to know how life really was in the past. By the past, I mean anytime before you were born. You could read about it, see video, or see photos, but it still doesn't give you the real feeling. In fact, seeing records from the past can only make things more confusing.
The current generation is often criticized for how much they document everything around them. People are always taking selfies with captions, blogging about their feelings, and making photo essays. It all sounds like a bit much, but then again I wish we had all of that explanation for some of these photos.
The olden days look like a time of pure insanity. Don't believe me? Then read on to see how I fumble through trying to make sense of these old black and white pictures. Number one will get you hooked, and number forty five will leave you shook. Now, go get blasted to the past-ed.
1. That Time of the Month
It's pretty clear what happened here. It's between two options. One is more likely than the other. The first option is that someone was murdered in that bed. By the looks on these women's faces though, I don't think that's the case. People don't tend to look that happy after a murder has just taken place. Especially if they have to have a photo op with the blood stained mattress afterward. The second option is far more likely. This mattress is proof that one of those woman entered womanhood.
That seems like a lot of blood for that, but how am I supposed to know how that sort of thing works. I've never had to deal with that problem. I feel for you women. You got the harder job for sure. Sorry about that, gals.
2. Well, That's Disturbing
One thing I didn't know about the olden days is that they were apparently full of unspeakable terrors. The old style of the photograph makes this looks even scarier and more disturbing than it already is, but I'm pretty sure if I saw something like this coming toward me, I'd be freaked out. It doesn't matter what year it is. It looks to be a mosquito riding a bicycle. Mosquitos are one of the worst flying bugs, which is saying a lot since there are so many bad ones to choose from.
I guess people were always doing weird things for all of recorded history. We could take a million guesses as to what this person was doing, but we'd probably be wrong with every single one of them. My favorite guess is that he was a superhero.
What came first, the chicken, the egg, or the kid? That's the question I'm presented with when I first look at this picture. Since there's not even a good answer for the original question (which came first, the chicken or the egg?), adding a third option just makes it confusing, so I won't be attempting to answer it. What's more important here is the second question that comes to mind. What the hell is this kid doing next to a chicken?
I'm not stranger to friendly chickens. There are a couple of chickens and roosters around my neighborhood. They just walk around, hanging out. It's kind of cool. Then one day they disappear. I wonder what happens to them... Let me think about it. Whenever they disappear, we eat chicken for dinner. Oh, god. Now I understand...
4. Super Size Him
I'm not completely sure how tall either of these people are. I know how tall a toddler should generally be, and I also know how tall a man should generally be. For either size to be normal, the other person would need to be absurdly sized. Odds are that the guy is incredibly tall, but to be that tall must mean being in constant discomfort. Especially if we're talking about the olden days where medicine wasn't quite as advanced as it is now. This is back when they'd literally stretch your legs to make you taller.
How come almost every black and white photo looks like it could be a prop in a horror movie? Something about everyone's vibe was very horror movie-y back then. Sure, we're looking at a creepier-than-normal picture here, but flip through some old photos and try not to be creeped out.
5. Bear Necessities
They say that man used to be way more in tune with nature. This picture would be good proof to that. These two buddies look like they're having a good time wrestling. At least, I assume that's what they're doing. That bear couldn't possibly be attacking that man. You know how I know that? Well, I don't KNOW that, exactly. The other option is that his friends are a bunch of dickheads. There's no way they are sitting back and filming their friend being attacked by a bear. Who would do that? That's why this human/bear pair must be friends.
Nowadays we have such easy access to stories about bears killing humans. Back in the day there weren't as many stories about it. If you met a nice bear you'd just think that everything would be fine. You wouldn't be thinking about that video you watched called, "Nice bears gone bad compilation."
6. Ghost Rider
People were straight clowning around back in the day. I bet a couple of guys were hanging out, bored (since there weren't any video games or social media), when one of them was like, "say, Phillip, why don't we take a photograph of us riding a bicycle with a skeleton so that people may gaze upon it as if the skeleton were a living ghoul!" and then they all yelled, "chip-chip-cheerio!" I assume that's how most interactions happened around this time.
Taking a photo was so difficult back then that you might as well go really big with it. If you're not going all out with props and concept then you just wasted one of those exploding lightbulbs, as well as an hour of everyone's time. I'm sure skeletons were plentiful too since there were less laws on who could sell and handle a human skeleton.
7. March of the Penguins (Black and White Edition)
That little girl was never heard from again. The penguins took her and no one was strong enough to stop them. That's just the type of thing that would happen in 1902. Who was there to complain to? The Penguin Coalition? They didn't exist until 1903. It was the wild west when it came to cold-climate birds. That was back when the Earth was theirs. Not anymore. We've since taken it.
I'm just kidding, of course. Here's what's really going on in this picture. Back in the day no one knew or cared what happened to animals, so people would import things like penguins without realizing that they'd die without their natural climate or habitat. People would bring a Snow Leopard to Los Angeles and wonder why it wasn't acting spritely. Large cats tend to get sluggish when they're dying.
8. Panda Goalie
I'm pretty sure that the panda is dead and stuffed, but there's a small part of me that thinks it might be alive. It kind of looks like it's falling backwards, doesn't it? Not that it matters. Either way this is a weird picture. What kind of family has a stuffed panda - that's question number one. And what kind of family uses their stuffed panda as a goalie for their son - that's question number two. It's absurd either way, though it's absurd enough to be awesome if that's a living panda.
It goes back to the points I made with the bear picture and the penguin picture. If people had the money they'd buy just about any animal they wanted. Panda bears seem nicer than regular bears, so why not let your kid play with one?
9. Halloween Was Terrifying
Before capitalism took hold of Halloween and made it all about which Disney character you're going to buy a costume for every year, people had costumes that they made from stuff at home. There was no Iron Man or Moana option. The only thing people could end up looking like is actual murderers. "What are you going to be for Halloween this year?" / "I was thinking of wearing a stocking on my head, the way a very real murderer would, and also leather gloves to cover my fingerprints. A dark jacket to hide in the night too." Everyone just ended up looking like people who would actually hurt you.
Even that kid is terrified. He probably even saw those guys dress up like that and he's still afraid of them. Dad turned into a masked killer within seconds.
10. What's Your Talent?
This was entertainment back in the day. You'd be bored on a Saturday, watching the grass bend in the wind, and then your friend would come over (it would take them four hours to get to you). They'd say, "want to go to town and see the two women who sit on bikes on top of each other?" / "Sure. Just stare at it for a while?" / "Yep." / "How long were you thinking?" / "Maybe six to eight hours." I mean, what else was there to do back then? There wasn't Netflix or anything like that.
How does this idea come up? This doesn't look like a skill you come across by accident, and it doesn't seem like something that would come out of a brainstorm session. I guess it's like asking Steve Jobs how he came up with the iPod. Who really knows at this point.
11. Who is the Chicken?
One of these looks like a chicken. The other one is acting like a chicken. See what I did there? You know why there were so many chickens in old photographs? It's because there were a lot of chickens just walking around. You know why THAT is? Because there were no grocery stores. Chickens were dinner so they'd just be walking around until it was ready to send them to the plate. Now we're lucky enough to have our chickens pre-slaughtered, bleached, and pumped with chemicals. Lucky us!
The kid seems to be terrified of the chicken. Chickens can get pretty mean, so I don't blame him. How long until the chicken figures out he can just walk around the wall? I think the boy is going to be in some trouble once the chicken realizes that.
12. Shoe Size?
This is the second image that makes me incredibly confused about what size people were back in the day. That's either a comically large boot, or this little girl is doll-size. I wouldn't be surprised if children were that small in the past. Now we put so many chemicals and vitamins in people that they might be growing to super-size. That's why so many women are having premature babies too. It's either that or that humanity is a virus and premature babies are a way of us increasing our spreading cycle. I just threw two conspiracy theories out at you. Let's see how your brain handles that!
Odds are that this is obviously just a large boot, but I like to let my mind wander to really stupid places. You must like to do the same. That's why you're here reading this.
13. Smoking Stunts Growth
I have every reason to believe that we could be looking at a thirty year old man in this picture. They say that smoking stunts growth, and he could have been smoking since he was a baby. That would account for the small size. Fact is that you just never know with these old pictures. One thing we do know is that everyone was smoking back in the day, so if it was a kid, I wouldn't be surprised.
Seeing old pictures like this, or especially old movies, I really want to smoke a cigarette. It's terribly obvious how much movies influence me. A character I like just need to smoke once and I'll go buy a pack of cigarettes. Fight the urge, folks. It's not worth it. That cool, refreshing smoke isn't worth it.
14. Women's Self Defense
Things used to be wild. You think women have it tough now? It's way better than it used to be. Even as recently as the 80s it was perfectly acceptable to slap a woman in the face in public. People would see it happen and just figure, "she must have done something to deserve it." It was a different time. I say let's bring that back, but it should be true for both parties. You're allowed one slap per day. If you exceed one slap, then you get arrested. I think that sounds like a great law.
Things were so wild in the past that women had to resort to walking around with boxing gloves for protection. At least... that's what I'm guessing. You'd think a knife would be the better option but then she might kill her attacker, which would get her in worse trouble. Like I said, being woman wasn't easy.
15. Creepy Cat Face
Poor cat. He moved his face too much and now he looks like he watched that tape from the movie The Grudge. In that movie there's a creepy tape that kills you seven days after you watch it. That means the cat has about seven days or less to live. That's too bad, but then again cats have nine lives, so the cat could watch The Grudge tape nine times and still be ok. Not that you'd want to watch that tape more than once, or even once at all.
Other than the cat's face, I really like this picture. It's cute while also giving you a lot to think about, like what are those letters, why are they under an umbrella, and does life have any real meaning at all or are we just intricate, universal mistakes? Are you getting those same questions from this?
16. A Dog and Two Gorillas Walk Into a Bar
As I study more of these pictures (and by study I mean look at a couple of them for a couple of seconds), I think I begin to understand them more. You know how people have photo booths at their events nowadays? Those photo booths always have a bunch of props like large sunglasses, silly hats, and swords. There must be a table of props just out of frame of all these photos. That would account for all the umbrellas. I can't help but doubt that many people were constantly around umbrellas.
It is important to note that taking photos was a much more sacred activity in the past. Now I just bust out my phone and talk pictures of girls as they walk by. My girlfriend keeps telling me I need to stop doing that.
17. She Wants to Bone
This girl totally wants to bone. By that I mean that she wants to study the human skeleton. What did you think I meant? You're nasty if you thought I meant anything other than that. OK, so maybe she IS naked, and she IS giving that skeleton lustful eyes, so I guess I can see the confusion. The human skeleton must have been a household prop back in the day. I've never once owned a human skeleton. Now I'm starting to feel jealous.
Is this what pornography was back in the day? I have to say, I don't really care for it if it is. I think it might be the skeleton that's throwing it off for me. Call me weird, but I just don't find skeletons very sexual. I don't mind them so much when they're surrounded by muscle, fat, and tissue, but just the bones, not my thing.
18. Great Bodies
This is what you do when you hire great dancers with fantastic bodies, but their faces aren't so great. I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying it's the best situation. All I'm saying is that it's an effective plan. Can we at least agree on that? Introducing the Gas Mask Gals! *SMOKE BOMB* Then the Gas Mask Gals emerge out of the smoke, breathing perfectly fine while the audience chokes on the smoke. If that doesn't sound like one hell of a show to you, then I don't know what to tell you. I respect any performer who can do a full dance routine while their breathing is restricted.
Who really knows what kind of event this was for. The whole thing seems bizarre and perverse to me, but who am I to talk? Julio Childress, writer of this article, that's who!
19. That Guy Looks Familiar
This guy in the foreground looks familiar. Have you seen That 70s Show? That's Red Foreman, the famous dad from the show. Actually, I'm pretty sure that every single older white man used to look like Red Foreman. And they were all just as grumpy as him too. Obviously I've been very twisted by TV and movies. Now I don't know anything real other than what's shown to me on television.
I can't tell what he's holding in his hand. It looks like it could be a rifle. There's nothing like taking your two daughter out on the lawn and taking a gun pic with them. That sounds like a fun Sunday to me. Then you can test your aim by putting some targets on their heads. That's the only way to know if you're really a good shot.
20. Baby Lion
What the American dream means to me is that you can come to America, import a baby lion, and then charge people to take pictures with it. How do you feed it, take care of it, or store it when it gets big? Who cares. You figure that out after you've made the big bucks. Nowadays there are all sorts of laws against just buying a lion for no apparent reason, but I think that's messed up. How am I supposed to achieve my American dream?
To be fair, people still take plenty of photos like this, but they're always in different countries other than the United States. You better believe that once I get enough money I'm going to buy an alligator and an emu. I don't care what the law has to say about it. Money talks.
21. Different Era, Same Problems
Don't we still have issues with men shooting guns at people? Looks like that was still an issue back in the day, especially with young boys. Here is the irrefutable proof. I am just kidding, of course. This is just a harmless photo of a boy pointing a gun at a young girl. Just typical fun. As long as it isn't loaded, everything is fine. If it is loaded... well, I'm sure they found out.
This looks like it should be the album cover for an edgy band. I'm thinking some kind of emo band or maybe even a screamo band. It has got that mixture of violence, cuteness, and thought provocation that screamo bands love. How do I know? May I be so bold as to say that I used to be in a screamo band and that this is exactly the type of cover we would have chosen.
22. Why the Germans Lost the War
This is why the Germans lost the war. I'm not saying that I would have liked the Germans to have won the war. Not at all. They were very obviously the bad guy. Even Germans today can agree with that. You know you messed up when even your own people are like, "that wasn't good." If only the United States would do that. Instead we try to pretend like slavery never existed.
I don't know what kind of tomfoolery this is, but I'm guessing that their officer in command took a sick day that day. Unless that IS the officer in command. Whoever he is, he's impressive for getting that cat to stay on his head like that. Not only that, look at the legs on that guy. I'm not saying I like guys or anything, but you have to respect legs like that.
I've definitely ate some food that made me feel like this was happening afterwards. If you know what I mean. Let me explain what I mean to you, using the least vulgar terms possible. I'm suggesting that I've eaten food that had upset my stomach so much that when I went to use the restrooms, what came out of my bowels felt like a small child. Does that make it clearer for everyone?
Anyway. Now that that's out of the way. I wonder if this guy knows that there is a small child in his coat? It's possible that he doesn't. Or it's possible that they are in cahoots. They could be trying to pay for one ticket to the theater instead of two. It's like the old drive-in theater trick where you'd shove your kids into the trunk.
24. Deer Boy
Let's say you were some foolish yuppy back in 1905. You haven't seen the world. Not the way you've seen it now (through the internet), so you don't know much. A guy comes up to you and says that there's such thing as a deer-boy. You call him a liar and punch him in the face, but then he shows you this picture. No one would blame you for being convinced that deer-boys existed. How would you know any different? Especially after seeing such a convincing picture. No wonder there were all sorts of fables passing around.
Nowadays you go online and talk about a weird experience or something weird that you saw and a million people give you evidence on how what you saw was fake or misrepresented. Then they call you mean names.
25. Um, can I have one?
What is this thing and why don't they make them anymore? This is exactly what I need to navigate the Los Angeles streets. Potholes would be a worry of the past. Even small vehicles in my way would be a worry of the past. You could roll right over a Fiat 500 in this thing. It goes to show you how much more of a problem hills must have been back in the day. Some guy felt it was a big enough problem that he built a vehicle specifically for combating the problem.
What we don't see is the seconds after this photo was taken when the whole machine gets thrown off balance and crushes the man under its mighty weight. Isn't that what any of us really want in the world? To be crushed by our own creation?
Here it is folk. The picture you've all been waiting for. A photo of a dog chugging a beer. That's something I'm always willing to see, especially with old timey people watching in the background. How could you not wonder what the heck is going on here? Time to Google "Skeeter Sport dog chugging beer." Go for it. I dare you. Maybe it'll lead you down a crazy path where you eventually meet the love of your life.
Look how disturbed the dog next to him looks. You can tell that's the friend that has to clean up their drunk friend's mess. He's thinking, "I know what happens whenever you drink this much." I have a friend like that but he left the country, so now I never have to worry about him getting me into trouble when we go out drinking. One day I'll get the call that I need to come identify the body though.
27. Give This Guy Some Head
Look at what I have gone and done. I've gone and made a dirty joke again. You can't blame me though. These pictures make it too easy. Are you really going to put a naked woman kneeling in front of a headless man (I mean literally without a head), and tell me NOT to make a joke about head? You'd be crazy to think I'd let that happen. It's against my personal code. My code is to say any and all jokes that come to my mind, even at the cost of my own personal well being.
I feel like this picture is trying to say something smart about something, but I'm just not sure what. I'm pretty sure it's doing a pretty good job at being smart too, or else I would have got it by now.
28. World Famous Goat Slide
If there's one thing that's been historically true for all time, it's that goats love slides. Isn't that in The Bible? I know The Bible says something about goats. Maybe it had nothing to do with slides. Either way, these specific goats seem to love slides. That's not something I would have guessed on account of goats having hooves. My human hands and feet have a hard time climbing a metal slide. Think how hard it must be with hooves. The one upside is that goats don't have to worry about burning themselves on the hot metal. If you've ever been to the park on a hot day, you know what I am talking about.
Goats on a slide? I'd definitely say that's a photo worthy moment. That's well worth an exploding lightbulb or two.
29. The Three Stooges
This is an older version of three friends going to the club together. Have you ever been at the club and seen a pack of dudes who all look way too different to be hanging out? You have to ask yourself - which one of these guys would I want to get stuck with? Generally women like tall guys, so I bet that guy gets swept up quick. Then it's between boring normal guy or the cute little guy. That's a toss up, honestly.
You can't say these guys aren't dressed to the top of their game though, can you? Even the huge guy has a great coat on. I can't imagine it was easy for him to find nice clothes. Not a lot of people make stuff in that size now or then. Why would you? How many giants come into stores regularly?
30. Um, what?
I think this picture is a clear case of only being creepy because it's black and white. Actually, I kind of take that back. It would be creepy in color, but you'd just assume it was a super-close up picture of an armadillo - a creepy picture, but nothing out of the ordinary. That's exactly what it is but it being in black and white makes it disturbing for some reason. It's as if monsters only existed in the past. That's what my brain thinks at least.
At first glance I thought it was something like the elephant man, or a science experiment. The type that the government did on people back when it was easier to do that to people without getting caught. For some reason I assume the thirties to fifties had a lot of experiments on people. Again, I think I've been poisoned by television.
31. Psh. Hipsters
I bet these are the hipsters of their age. This guy doesn't wear a scuba suit because he plans on going underwater. He's just wearing it to be ironic. That's total hipster behavior. She's also giving me a hipster vibe, but I'm not sure why. It must be her look of disinterest. I'm very good at sensing looks of disinterest in women, on account of often getting those looks.
Being slightly hipster myself, I think it would be kind of cool to wear vintage scuba gear. It would do terrible damage to your neck, but most high fashion is harmful to the wearer. It's meant to look good, not to feel good. I bet you didn't think you'd get fashion advice in this article. My advice is very specifically that your clothes should be uncomfortable.
32. A Barrel of Fun
I'm all for a friendly competitive race. I've even won a few in my time. This, however, is not a friendly competitive race. This is mild torture. I'm a little disturbed by the narrative here on account of all the people racing being black. It makes me a little skeptical of what's going on. If you needed any more proof that people are awful, here it is. Forcing others to run with a barrel over their heads while others watch. Then again, I'll watch whole hours of fail compilations, so who am I to judge?
This is something those boys from Jackass should try out. I know half of them are permanently damaged or dead, but round up the ones who are still alive and let's have some fun. Let's just say those guys didn't stop doing that show for a lack of ideas.
33. Beauty (?) Contest
I would walk into this room, see what we all see here, and then quietly turn around and leave. I want no part of whatever the hell is going on here. I feel like this is some kind of Dusk Til Dawn situations where suddenly all the beautiful women turn into vampires. I won't even risk a situation like that happened, so every time a girl asks if I want to be alone with her, I say no. That way I'm always safe from vampires.
My best guess is that this competition didn't want the judges to judge based on facial looks. I think the face is very important so I don't think I'd want to judge a competition like this. I have judged a beauty pageant before though. That's a story for another time though.
34. I Love America
There's nothing more American than a young, braided-haired girl holding an American flag in one hand and a gun in the other. You might as well model a superhero after that image, because it would sell like hot cakes. We need a true American hero/heroine. You think Captain America is good enough? Captain America isn't American enough for me. I need something more intense. This is that.
That could be a toy or it could be real. No one minded making toy guns that looked incredibly real back then because kids weren't getting shot for that yet. Hell, a lot of the toy guns actually were real. You can still get them if you're not in pansy state, or if you go into a lawless place like Walmart. They sell guns, bombs, and everything in between. It's crazy, but in a good way.
35. Shoot it!
If this thing was coming towards me, I wouldn't assume it was a child. I'd assume it was a ghoul from the deep depths of hell come to get me. Some people have called me dramatic in my fear of ghouls from the deep depths of hell, but one day they'll come and then who will be laughing? The answer is no one. We'll all be dead or enslaved by the ghouls from hell! That's why!
This is what I mean when I say that Halloween costumes were scarier back in the day. You couldn't quite tell what they were, so it made them terrifying. This could be Winnie the Pooh for all we know. It probably is, but instead it just looks like some demon child. I imagine lifting the costume and it just being full of worms.
36. Spacious Back Seat
Say what you will about the gas mileage and horse power of old cars, but they had a hell of a lot of space in them. You can't argue against that. Hell, there's a whole elephant getting into this car. It might just be a baby elephant, but those things are still big. They come out bigger than dogs. Let's say you bought an elephant and didn't know a guy with a truck. What else would you do? You'd have to pack it into your car.
I don't think animals like being in cars, if you ask me. They tend to get sick. An elephant is not the size animal you want to get sick around. The re-upholstery costs alone wouldn't make it worth it. That's whether the elephant gets sick in the front end or the back end.
37. Watch where you're pointing those
Does anyone know why women had such pointy breasts in the past? What was going on that caused that? Was it a genetic experiment? This is why I need to hire an assistant researcher. That way they can do the work and I can get the credit. That's all I'm asking for in life. The guy in this picture is doing his best not to look like he's interested in seeing what's in front of him. He knows the cameras are on so he's just looking down and playing with his big pickle. What? He is. I'm not being dirty. If anyone is being dirty, it's that guy.
This is most likely backstage of a TV show. I assume the big pickle is a prop, and that he's the host. She's an intern trying to win some sexual harassment money.
38. Oh! The Pain!
This kid looks to be in pain from eating the watermelon. Someone should check his allergies. He could be dying from watermelon poisoning. I always figured there weren't as many food allergies as there are today. Nowadays a kid will know about twenty of his or her allergies before they've even tried the food. Back in the old days you just lived your life and sometimes you died after eating something. There were no allergies. Just death. People didn't know how you died. They just knew that you died. Now be happy you're alive today.
This looks like it could be a screen grab from The Little Rascals. I'm not entirely convinced that it's not. Where is my assistant researcher when I need them? I really need them right now. Put your resume in the comments and I'll see if I want to hire you. The pay is low to none.
39. The Lord of the Rings Effect
I don't think this is real, even though you never know. That's the fun of the mystery, right? (you all nod your heads as you obviously can tell it's fake). This looks like it used the Lord of the Rings effect, as I call it. That's where you play with how close or far your subjects are to make them look like they are on the same plane even though they're not. That's how the hobbits looked so small in the Lord of the Rings. Now imagine a rainbow flying by with the words "the more you know."
It's possible that this could be real though. Who knows what the famine years did to people back then. The small fry could really be that size. His face is squished, so he might be one of those weird squish-faced small guys. You know the ones I'm talking about.
40. Free the Children
As I write this, the United States is being torn apart by the debate over immigrant children being separated from their families and put in cages. Why don't we all just stare at this as we realize how much worse it could be. I'm not saying it's good, but can you imagine if these were the cages? I don't even think I'd be OK with jokingly putting my child in there. Or am I wrong and is that a monkey? That could be a monkey for all I know.
People are so sensitive these days that if they saw a picture like this on the internet they'd try to call child protective services on the parent. Everyone wants to feel so important so they create these scenarios where they can be the hero. As our president would say... SAD!
41. Boy Scouts Circa Hella Long Ago
These look like some good old fashioned Boy Scouts. This is back when the lessons you'd learn would actually save your life since the world was still a dangerous place. When are you going to have to start a campfire? If you're in a situation where it's life or death that you start a campfire, maybe you've gotten in over your head well before reaching that point.
Those uniforms are very slick, but can you imagine how hot it must get in those? I'd have to wash my uniform twice a day if I had to wear that. Luckily my work uniform is shorts and a tank top. That's the benefit of working from home. You should all try it. The main downside is crippling loneliness. If you can get through that, then it's fine. Most can't get through that though.
42. When You Can't Afford Two Cats
Sailing can be a lonely life, so it's important that you have a friend. That can be a furry friend, like a cat, or it can be a furry friend like a stuffed fox head. Whatever works. Who am I to judge who you hang out with? This sailor looks like he had a lot of friends, both a living friend and a dead friend. Lucky him. That fox looks like he'd be a really good listener.
I've never been a huge fan taxidermy. I once saw a taxidermy fox with eagle wings. I can't imagine what kind of person gets joy out of stitching an eagle's wings to a fox. I mean, yeah it was cool. And yeah, I bought it. And Yeah, I'm petting it right now, but what kind of sicko makes that?
43. Feeling Horny
"Hey, mom. I got a job as a musician." / "Where?" / "Well, a lot of places. Depends when you're asking." This is kind of like in the movie Max Max: Fury Road where there's a caravan of vehicles and one of them has a guy playing electric guitar on the front of it. If you've seen the movie, or even heard about it, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.This is what I want to see in the sequel.
There's one thing that's true in this world. If you can play an instrument, you'll always have work. If people are getting hired to play the horns on a train, you better believe there are all sorts of jobs for musicians out there. Trains are a still a thing, so maybe they are still hiring for this position.
44. Pst. Wrong Way
Where was the photographer on this one? It's the photographer's job to make sure the people look good in the photo. Part of that means making sure they face the right way. I feel like that's the bare minimum that you need to do when taking a photo. You can't let someone sit with their back turned to you while taking the photo. No one is being very helpful in this photo though, so you can't just blame the photographer.
My theory is that he's either dead and they're trying to pretend that he's still alive so they can get money somehow, or that he's hideous and doesn't like his picture taken. Either one of those options is very dark and sad. Can you think of anything else that makes more sense? I don't think you can.
45. First Documented Feminist Meeting
We've seen a lot of disturbing photos in this slideshow. It's as if the whole basis behind taking photos uses to be about how weird you could make them. If that were the case, here's a sure winner. What is going on here and why does it have to be a picture? I bet it was a play, which is way more comforting than if it was a slice of life captured in a photograph.
This is actually inspiring me to get some crazy costumes together and take some photographs with my friends. Who cares what costumes we wear or what we do? Do they need to make sense? Apparently not. No one is going to make sense of them decades later anyway. Have any of these made sense to us? The weirder the better, right?
46. When Did He Die?
Did that guy die during the making of this photograph? Maybe that's a silly question. How could his body decompose that quickly, after all. But there has to be some instance where someone died the moment a picture was taken of them. Out of all the random things to happen in the world, that seems like a likely one. I don't know what you'd want to do with that photo. Would it be a nice keepsake or would it be horrifying? I don't think I'd like the picture, personally.
This picture has a lot of quirk to it. The girl has shells in her ears for one thing. If that's not quirky then I don't know what is. This photo belongs in a Diablo Cody movie circa-whenever Juno came out. That's my hack joke for the evening, folks.
47. Yogi Stealing More than Picnic Baskets
Fellas, and lesbian women, imagine if you walked into your bedroom and found your lady cheating on you. Now imagine that the person she was cheating with was a giant bear. What do you do then? I think you just take the L and walk away, right? No use in getting made when you get disrespected by a bear. Those are just the scales of nature balancing back in favor of... nature.
People were way to casual around bears back in the day. I won't ever be caught in the same room with a bear if I can help it. *Cut to five months later. I'm in a room with a bear while acting in a hit tv show*" Well, I was wrong, and this time it'll be the death of me." *the bear slowly eats me.*
48. My Kind of Party
If you walk into a party and it looks like this, you better stay. No party gets that weird and just stays there at that level. If it's at that level, that means it's only just starting to get good. You might do things that are illegal in some countries, and you may not leave without sacrificing part of your mind, but it'll be the time of your life. How do I know? Well, because I was conceived at a party like that, but that's a story for another time.
I think it's just my knowledge of Furry culture, but this photo looks erotic to me. For those of you that don't know, Furrys are people who dress up in animal costumes and have sex. The costumes can be anything, but they need to have a hole in the crotch.
49. A Child and Their Saw
Before we even begin with the fact that we have a child standing next to a saw, can I just say that I want that child's outfit. I want it in my size, of course. That is an incredibly cool outfit. Add a sword onto the belt and that's a hero's outfit. If you couldn't tell, I have a flair for the flamboyant when it comes to my outfits. Since this is black and white, I'm imagining it in bright orange.
Now let's get to the fact that this poor child is standing right by a saw. Have you ever touched a saw? They cut you even when you barely touch them. You could just barely graze your hand on a saw's blade and you'll start to bleed. I can already hear the people chanting, "you're a wuss!"
50. Fifty Bucks on the Dog
I don't know about you, but I got fifty bucks on the dog. I don't see the boy standing a chance in this fight, even if boxing is a human sport. There are a lot of human sports that dogs could do really well at, like running competition or eating competition. You can never bet against a dog. The kid's best shot is having the dog bite him so he can win on a technicality. What sucks about that is you have to get bit.
If there is one animal that you don't want to fight, it's a kangaroo. It's not just that they can punch and kick. It's that they're tough with huge chips on their shoulder. They want to hurt you. It's not like other animals who will hurt you only because they have to.
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