If you're like me you have several levels of shirts. You've got your nice shirts that you always air dry, you've got your beater shirts that you could paint in, and you have all the other classes of shirts in between. Shirts are very versatile style options. There's a shirt for every occasion. Like for when you're with stupid, or if you want everyone to know you work in law enforcement in the FBI (Female Body Inspectors). The right shirt at the right time can make for a perfect photo opportunity, as you'll see below. The last one will totally get you rolling on the floor!
Nothing can make you friends or enemies faster than wearing your favorite sports team apparel. It's like putting a target on your back. That target is meant for a high five or a large rock aimed right at the back of your head. If you love your team though, you have to represent. This Patriots fan definitely made sure to represent... his poor judgement.
It's the wrong day to wear your Patriots gear when you're trying to get an autograph from a Colt player. We're talking about one of the biggest NFL rivalries. Why are these two fans even hanging out? This Patriots fan must be a little confused though, since he's holding a tiny Colts helmet in one hand. He can't seem to get his fandom straight. At least it led to this perfect photo opportunity of him getting shunted out of the picture.
The Force is Strong With This One
They say to never meet your heroes. They may disappoint you. Or you may disappoint them by wearing a way-too-geeky shirt. For me, one of my dreams would be to meet George Lucas. He's the godfather of Star Wars. Without Star Wars, my life would have been much different. Sure, I would have gotten laid more, but I wouldn't now own four replica lightsabers. It's a trade off.
This Star Wars fan met the elusive George Lucas on the street and was lucky enough to snap a photo with him while wearing this "Milk, I am your father" t-shirt. I understand that someone would like Star Wars so much that they'd wear a Star Wars parody shirt, but he's that big of a fan of milk too? Come on, guy. Save some ladies for the rest of us.
Disney is the happiest place on Earth. For the most part. It can be a little less happy if you're parent of four and you just spent your mortgage payment on lunch. Part of the magic is all of the characters that walk around the park. Seeing Mickey in the flesh is like living in a real life cartoon. The only other way to get that feeling is to do mushrooms.
Obviously with a lot of families around you have to watch what you wear at the park. You can't bust out your metal band t-shirt with the dragon dismembering a topless lady on it. This guy was just trying to show his support for his favorite DJ (deadmau5, pronounced dead mouse), but failed to realize how Minnie and Mickey might perceive it. You can see Minnie's obvious dismay. Even through that emotionless mask we can see the pain in coming to terms with her mortality.
Schindler's List (of Words on his Shirt
There's a sweet spot for the number of words that should be on a shirt. Some people would say that number is 0. Those people either don't like shirts with words on them, or they are illiterate. Think about it. It's like you're taunting them. The words on a shirt might serve a purpose, like listing tour dates, or it might just be a joke. Very rarely, however, are the words on a shirt essentially a love letter like in this case.
This guy must have custom made this shirt saying thank you to his favorite director, Steven Spielberg. Out of all the shirts to wear on that day, he chose the right one. By the look on both of their faces, it's clear to see that the shirt did its job. I'm guessing this guy hasn't seen Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull though.
Smile and Say, "Spread!"
This is a pretty dang awesome shirt, but I have one complaint: it should have been a screenshot from a second or two later. Now that's a bold choice. A t-shirt with Sharon Stone's hoo-hah on full display. It might not make you a lot of friends, but style isn't about friends. Still, the shirt does it's job. We all know the Basic Instinct scene. For some of us it was how we lost our virginity (or at least the closest we'd come for years.
No one is more familiar with this scene than Sharon Stone herself. I've even seen her in some parody videos of the scene, so I know she takes the fandom of the scene in good spirit. That's evident by the big smile on her face in the picture with this guy wearing the shirt.
The heading is meant to imply that the guy in the picture with actor Giancarlo Esposito is named Chad. I can't confirm or deny if that's true, but he looks like he has at least a 20% chance at being a Chadwick. Of course, he usually goes by "Chadwick." Enough about that guy! This picture has Giancarlo Esposito in it who plays Gus Fring in 'Breaking Bad.' He makes for a hilarious photo opportunity by threatening to kill this 'Breaking Bad' fan who we assume is named Chad. There's nothing more funny than attempted murder.
I have some questions though. What the hell is Giancarlo Esposito doing with a box cutter so handy in the first place? Is that just something he keeps in his pocket at all times? Or is it Chad's box cutter? If so, same questions.
That's Some Funny Shirt
I've never met someone wearing a comedian's t-shirt who was actually anywhere near as funny as that person. It's not like I'm saying you have to be funny to wear a t-shirt with a comedian on it, but if you show up on stage at an open mic with Bill Murray on your shirt, I'm tuning out. It's like saying "I'm going to do a few jokes for you, but also remember this guy on my chest who is way funnier than me?" That's why when I do stand up I wear a shirt with Hitler on it. Everyone knows that I'M the funny guy.
Bill Murray is known for his wild antics in public, like showing up to guest bartend at a bar or being best man in a stranger's wedding (I'm just assuming that one is true). Basically, he's a super nice guy, so I bet he loved this photo opportunity with a fan.
Gandalf the Gay
Geek-culture movies are getting pretty crazy in terms of casting. We've had too many Spidermans to count, and the fact that the Human Torch and Captain America are the same person is pretty disturbing. And that's just one of the Human Torches. The other Human Torch is also the villain in Black Panther, so as you can see, it gets wild. Still, nothing beats the fact that Ian McKellan has played both Magneto and Gandalf. That's like playing God and Jesus.
You may be familiar with the gay pride shirts that say "Some People Are Gay. Get Over it." It's a great shirt and a great sentiment, plus who doesn't love a good impact font? The OG, Ian McKellan, put his own spin on the shirt, making it so that no one else could possibly pull it off. If I ever see that shirt at a Goodwill though, you know I'm getting it.
Off with his Thread!
In terms of the show 'Game of Thrones," if you're in a room with Cersei and Tyrion Lannister there's a good chance they're plotting to kill you, or somehow use you to kill each other. It's an intense family dynamic that most of us only experience through the show or on Thanksgiving. The good thing for fans is that these two actors are nothing like their characters, though that look on Cersei's face is convincing me otherwise.
This guy's Obama-Hope parody shirt of Tyrion Lannister would get this man killed by Cersei in a heartbeat, as is evident by that look on her face. It looks like Tyrion is just mad because he knows the shirt isn't in his size. I'm just kidding, Peter Dinklage. Don't get short with me. Interesting fact: the guy in the picture is only 5' 4".
Football Game of Thrones
I try to imagine Game of Thrones as if it were a high school drama instead. Cersei would be the popular senior cheerleader. Jon Snow would be the cool outcast kid who skateboards, but doesn't smoke or drink. Tyrion would be the local drug dealer. And Arya would be a school shooter. I'm just saying, the girl is cold blooded. Somebody get her on some zanies.
This guy's shirt is awesome because it gives a glimpse of how the Game of Thrones families costuming might be portrayed as high school football teams. Show your school spirit without the risk of an arrow firing into your neck. Since no one represents the wolf pack more than Arya, this was the perfect thing to wear when meeting her. Who knows, if he wore a Lannister jersey we may have never heard from him again.
George Shot First
Imagine creating something so awesome that it would be perfectly understandable that you were a fan of your own work. That's exactly the type of life that George Lucas lives. If I wore a shirt with a graphic from my one-man show on it, everyone would think I was stupid. George Lucas could ride around Hollywood in a landspeeder and we'd all totally get it. By the way, are those things gas, electric, or hybrid?
No one can blame George Lucas for wearing a Han Solo shirt on the set of what we can assume is one of the Star Wars films (Kathleen Kennedy is seen chilling with him and Harrison Ford). The man created Han Solo, after all. If Harrison Ford wants to talk smack, George can just grab him by the lapels and say, "I made you. I can just as easily destroy you."
The Perfect Disguise
There's nothing more embarrassing than finding out you're wearing the same thing as someone else at a party. It's even more embarrassing when you find out you're wearing the same thing as the walls. Let's face it, wallpaper isn't exactly a bastion of style. I don't remember the last time I saw some and thought, "that'd make a great shirt!" Now if you're talking about carpet, that's a different story. Get me a shirt with the same pattern as movie theater carpet and I'm in heaven.
This girl ended up with the same exact print on her shirt as this hallway, which actually doesn't look bad at all. Both her and the walls are working the hell out of that shirt. She's in luck if she needs to quickly hide from someone. Just press against the wall and hold your breath until they pass by.
Size Large Lebowski
Is it just me or does it seem like Jeff Bridges is constantly drunk? I'd kill for that kind of cowboyish poise when I'm completely smashed. It's what makes him such a legend. He seems like such a man's man, living by his own rules. That's why he is so perfectly 'The Dude.' I'm of course talking about 'The Dude' from 'The Big Lebowski.' It's a movie you've definitely seen if you smoke weed, and it's just generally a great cult classic.
Cult classics make for great t-shirts. This guy's The Dude t-shirt came in at the right time to pose with the real Dude. Check out Jeff Bridges looking like an 18th century vampire with that haircut and devilish grin. I also love that there are three people in this picture and none of them are looking in the same direction. The guy on the right has an excuse since he doesn't even know he's in the picture, but what's up with homeboy?
Han Shot First. Who shot first? No, Han shot first.
You don't normally see big celebrities in fan t-shirts. They usually wear brands that sell things like $500 t-shirts, which is a concept I don't understand. I once saw Gucci sell a $2,000 t-shirt, but that at least had diamonds sewn into it. I'd just take the diamonds out, sell them, and then I'd still have a shirt. Genius.
It's especially fun seeing a celebrity who is an icon themselves wearing an iconic t-shirt. Arnold Schwarzenegger attempts to put an old Star Wars debate to rest by wearing his "Han Shot First" shirt. If you don't know what that means, then that means you probably had friends in high school. It doesn't look like Harrison Ford is mad at that. He's got a very rare smile on his face. I wonder if he's reminiscing about his plane crash.
Give Him the Bird
There's nothing that says "I get the ladies" like a shirt with characters from a cell phone game on it. Do they even sell those in adult sizes? Or do you have to get an XXL in boys. Seriously though, I don't mean to roast this guy too much. He's a pilot after all, so that adds some cool points. Plus, if you're just flying a single-rider plane, then you don't need to bust out your three-piece suit.
Now let's talk about the irony here. A bird smashed through this guy's plane window while he was in the air. That's a story in itself. The kind of story you tell to strangers at a bar. Add the fact that the he was wearing an Angry Birds shirt at the time and you have some Moth level story material.
Cat men are a new breed of men who have emerged from the shadows in the last couple of years. I'm not talking about men who are half-man/half-cat. That would be terrifying. Male cats have barbs in their penises which is not a trait anyone wants. I mean men who love cats. I'm one myself. I own two cats. I'd own more if I hadn't already caught my other two cats working together to steal my oxygen in my sleep. I don't think I have the strength to fight off three...
These cat man lucked out when he stumbled across a cat that looked just like the one on his t-shirt. Rewind though. I love cats, but I don't wear cat shirts. More power to this guy though. If he can pull off carrying that cat around all day then he might just have a perfect outfit.
Between a Rocker and a Hard Place
The rock and roll lifestyle means lots of drugs and alcohol. That means I'd be perfect for the rock and roll lifestyle. I just need to do the whole "learn how to play an instrument" thing. 80s hair metal bands were great for that. They would just turn their amps up so high that you couldn't tell that they were playing nonsense due to drinking a whole bottle of Jack Daniels right before the show.
This fan tried to party like a rockstar while waiting to meet some of his heroes, but he partied too hard and passed out. Dude, I feel you, but come on! He missed the chance at meeting both Dave Grohl and John Paul, though I guess he still got his photo. Still, a photo is nothing like being able to shake the hands of your idols. Especially when that photo makes you look like a total goon.
In the Weeds
Here we have a picture of America incarnate. For real though. This dude looks like he voted for Trump while chugging a Budweiser with a bald eagle perched on his shoulder. I love his shirt too. What seemed like a good idea to you? The horrible neon color? At least he's easily visible, but that means that you could spot his bad fashion from space. That might work out for him considering he and his friend crashed their boat into some weeds and might need a rescue.
You're pretty much asking for it when you wear a shirt like that. The universe is too cruel. If you're wearing a shirt that says "nothing will go wrong today," the universe sees that and says "hold my beer." Then it crushes you like a bug and makes sure that someone with a camera is nearby to capture it all.
Ninja Level Sneakiness
This image is just cruel, and by cruel I mean hilarious. Here we have a fan of Roy Halladay, who I'm sure would have been stoked to meet him, yet instead gets a joke pulled on him. Imagine logging onto Twitter to see what your favorite baseball player is tweeting only to find that he's tweeting about you. It's not like I could point Halladay out from a crowd, but then again... I DON'T OWN HIS JERSEY!
Roy Halladay must have some ninja level skills to be able to sneak up behind this guy for the photo without being noticed at all. Either that or this guy would be a great target for pickpockets. He's more interested in gazing out in the distance than noticing the 6'6" man directly behind him. He totally struck out on this one. Pun intended.
This is Not a Game!
Very seldomly do people actually plan to go to prison. Sometimes they do if they are planning to break someone out which requires them to infiltrate the inside, but I can't help but feel like that's very rare. That's why my mom always gave me the best advice: "always leave the house dressed for jail." People are going to remember you for your mugshot, so at least if you're wearing a suit people will assume your crime was nothing more serious than tax fraud or embezzlement.
In a way, this man did dress for jail. He went the ironic route, and who doesn't like a little bit of irony? I'm sure his shirt was a great conversation starter with some of the other prisoners. Making friends is important, even if your only choices are murderers and thieves.
I always forget that celebrities are real people too. They have hopes, dreams, and fears just like the rest of us. They also have millions of dollars to cope with all those hopes, dreams and fears. The point is that they aren't emotionless creatures. What's even crazier is that they can be fans of other actors, which always seemed so bizarre to me. Is it a good time to ask for an autograph while you're acting in a scene with someone?
As it turns out, Macauley Culkin and Ryan Gosling are both big fans of each other. Big enough fans that they created shirt inception. After Ryan Gosling was spotted wearing a Macauley Culkin shirt, Macauley Culkin incepted it with his own shirt that showed a picture of Ryan Gosling wearing a shirt with a picture of Macauley Culkin.
HOLD THE DOOR
Hodor must have been such an easy character to play and write for. "What should Hodor say?" / "How about... Hodor?" / "Perfect!" It doesn't lead to the most dynamic dialogue, but not many actors only have to worry about how many times they say their own name. It's the perfect role for someone like me - very lazy.
If you're a fan of 'Game of Thrones' then you know that he's a fan-favorite character. I've even seen door stops that say "Hodor" on them. That's a very good joke for anyone who has watched the series. If you haven't seen the series then it just looks like the name of an Ikea product. This fan must not have had his doorstop handy, but he was wearing the right shirt at the time. I think we know how this picture went down: "Say Cheese!" / "Hodor!"
Watch Out for the Caboose
The great thing about kids is that they can make a game out of anything. As much as they are currently addicted to iPads and ritalin, if you throw them a stick they'll create a fun game to play (or they'll poke their eye out, but you gotta learn somehow). I remember being a kid and my dad would bring a big piece of cardboard home for us to draw racetracks on. It makes my childhood a lot of fun to think about, as long as I forget about all the Winters we were too poor to eat.
This babysitter had a great idea to keep the kids entertained while getting a little rest. Let's just hope those trains don't go off track and end up parked in his caboose. That's a tough hospital visit to explain.
No Ducks Given
I've never held a duck. I've been too terrified to even try. Sure, the beak isn't sharp or anything, but neither is a spoon yet you could still scoop my eyeballs out with one. Unfortunately, if babe says she wants a picture holding a duck in your matching duck shirts, then babe gets a picture holding a duck in your matching duck shirts.
There's one aspect of the picture that disturbs me slightly. Am I the only one noticing the most important detail?The duck is wearing a chef's hat like the one in the picture. Did they have a chef's hat handy for the duck, or did the duck bring his own? Or is it one of those ketchup cups? Animals have it so easy. If they want a chef's hat all they have to do is go to In'N'Out. If I want one I have to pay for it.
Give Him Some Space
A lot of people say that the moon landing was fake. Don't tell Buzz Aldrin that though. I hear he will punch you in the face. For good reason too, since he was literally there at the moon landing. If anyone knows it was real, it's him. He has the moon rocks to prove it. Moon rocks is also what he calls his... nevermind.
For someone whose whole legacy is centered around space travel, Buzz wants the world to continue that legacy. Not with the moon though. Buzz already conquered her. He wants people to go to Mars and he's not afraid to show it. That's why I vow to take his ashes to Mars with me if I ever go, and if he's not dead by the time I go, I'll burn him alive myself. That's how dedicated I am to his legacy.
How many times a day do you think people yell "hey Frodo!" at Elijah Woods? I would guess at least three or four times a day. More if I'm around. He seems like he'd be a chill guy about it. In fact, I think he's most likely an awesome guy over all. I only base that on the fact that I once saw him in the Hot 97 studios for a Method Man freestyle. That's not really a place you chill at if you're lame.
Elijah uses this photo to show off his amazing hover-hand action with this fan. He has reason to be a little weirded out since they are both wearing extremely similar shirts. Has that ever happened to you where you meet someone with the same outfit so you are immediately friends, but then you realize that they kind of suck? It's the worst. That's why I show up to parties naked.
Face the Facts
Let me tell you a little fact about myself. I think pug faces are the cutest things in the world. If there was a woman who looked like a pug, I'd be attracted to her. I know that raises a lot of disturbing questions about me, but I'm not talking about being attracted to a dog. I'm talking about being attracted to a woman who LOOKS like a dog. Big difference.
I can't blame this guy for making a shirt with his pug's face on it for that reason. Of course if you do that you've got to hook up your little homie too. With matching face-shirts these guys are pals for life, though it makes it very hard to look at this picture for too long. I start to feel dizzy and confused like I'm looking into a vortex.
This Man Speaks the Truth
Terminator. Predator. California. Arnold Schwarzenegger is an American hero, which is very bizarre considering he's Austrian. Americans have a tendency to find really interesting people from other countries and say "nah, they are ours now." Hell, Arnold was even governor of California, so some sort of conspiracy has to be going on. Not that I'm mad at it. I'd vote Arnold for president if I could (If I could vote, that is. I'm a registered felon).
It is in fact true that Arnold is numero uno (which means number one for any of you non-Spanish speakers). Wear a shirt that says that and it's like you're a walking billboard for truth. You're also guaranteed a picture with Arnold if he sees you. Just realize that you're being used as nothing more than a caption at that point.
Something Smells like Dog Shirt!
We've all heard the phrase "all dogs go to heaven." The concept feels very unfair, but you have to consider that the worst a dog has ever done kill one person at most. Dogs are incapable of committing mass tragedies. I mean, I'm cool with sharing heaven with Kujo. I'll just wear some cool armor or something. I don't think I could handle chilling in Heaven with Bin Laden though.
You can tell that this lovely doggo deserves to go to heaven. After all, bad doggos don't get their very own shirts. That's something you can only do with animals. You can't do that with your significant other. While it would be a nice gesture for me to wear a shirt with my girlfriend's face on it, I think we'd all be a little creeped out.
Mens Medium, Prison Small
I'm going to have to play detective on this. At first glance it is utterly confusing. Here we have a young man in a mug shot photo from what we can only assume are pedophile charges based on his mustache. His mustache isn't the only odd thing though. He seems to be wearing a shirt depicting his own arrest. How is this possible? Did he go back in time so that he could be arrested in that shirt? And if he does have time travel capabilities, why didn't he just not commit the crime?
I think I know what really happened here. The shirt says "family reunion" on it, so I'm guessing his family had the kitchy idea to do family reunion shirts that depicted them all arrested. Before you do that make sure that no one in your family actually plans on getting arrested while wearing them.
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
The logistics behind Superman have always been very questionable. The fact that putting on glasses was enough to cover up his identity just shows how dumb people were in the 30s. I mean, they hadn't even invented the internet yet, so how smart could they be? Superman must have always been super hot too. Wearing a full leotard under your suit in Summer weather must have led to some Kryptonian level chafing.
This seemingly normal guy apparently walks around with a Superman suit under his clothes at all times, because he was able to show off his Superman S at exactly the right moment in a picture next to the OG movie Superman. How nervous do you think Christopher Reeves was as this guy started to unbutton his shirt? He was probably expecting the guy to ask him to sign his ta-tas.
Justin Verlander makes millions of dollars every year playing for the Astros AND he gets to go to bed with Kate Upton. He should have to pay extra taxes because of all that. There should totally be a "you're rich and have a hot spouse tax." I think he'll be fine with a few less dollars in his pocket. He can cry on Kate's shoulder, or somewhere else.
Here we have Justin Verlander taking a selfie with a fan in the background. The kid is oblivious to what's going on, which makes it even better. The Starbucks worker probably doesn't even know who he is and is just laughing thinking, "why is this weirdo taking a picture of me?" How tall is Justin Verlander anyway? It looks like he's 9'17" in this photo. He's going to step on that kid if he's not careful.
I'm Feline This
Is it just me or have socks become insanely popular in the last ten years? Everyone I know has awesome socks with designs on them. That's a lot of thought for something you put in a shoe, but even I have my own collection. Maybe it's just a part of getting older. As my soul slowly dies, my love for socks grows. Socks are like rings around a tree. They can reveal someone's age.
These cat socks make the perfect photo when placed correctly. I don't know if the sock makers had planned on people doing this, but it's a great idea. They should even sell a cat with each pair. Then again I'm a total weirdo and would own ten cats if I could. That's how I plan to save money on a casket. Hopefully when I die the cats just devour me until there's nothing left.
Give This Guy A Hand
I appreciate people who are up front. Some of my best friends are total liars and thieves, but they made sure to warn me about this when we first met. Now I just chain my stuff down before they come over and we're all good, or if I need to know if I look cute in an outfit I just hook them up to a polygraph test. Friendship takes work.
This kid wanted to give the world a fair warning that he does dumb stuff by wearing this novelty t-shirt. You hear that, ladies? Get in line. He's got the total bad boy vibe going on. It turns out this guy was telling the truth. He does dumb stuff like break his entire hand. Now I'm way too curious about how it happened. Sure, we know that it must have been a "stupid thing," but what stupid thing did he do?
They Met Their Match
The universe works in mysterious ways. It finds ways to send us hidden messages, or little signals pointing us in the direction of what we should do with our lives.This is one of those instances. These guys were meant to find each other. Maybe they are supposed to save the world together. Or maybe they're just meant to open a vape shop together. It could be anything, but there is no doubting their bond.
I wonder if both of these shirts were just happy mistakes that happened in the same factory and then they just decided to go with it. The sewing team got confused on which arms went with which arms, or maybe they hired blind sewers. I respect the inclusivity of that choice, but then you run the risk of getting mix and match shirts.
A Sweet Couple
"When our powers combine... we become... cookie monster!" No, these guys aren't a Sesame Street character, nor are they a crime fighting duo of the same name. They probably don't even know each other or realize their faux pas. I don't like to tell anyone where they can or can't sit, but these two men can't sit next to each other. Even if you switch the order, "monster cookie" isn't that much better. If anything, it's more awkward.
I wonder if they would move seats if one of them realized it. Even though they had a bunch of food in front of them and they had to move it all. Then the other guy would think it's because he smells or something. He'd never know that it was because he chose to wear a shirt that said "cookie" on the back of it.
The White Stripes
Horizontal stripes are known to be very slimming in the fashion world. Or at least that's what I think I heard on Will and Grace. They better be slimming because I'd rather buy striped shirts than stop eating cheeseburgers and drinking beer. OK, so maybe I could quit cheeseburgers, but beer is my jam. Vertical striped shirts don't have any apparent super powers, but they still make them for some reason.
No doubt that a white and black stripes are a very bold choice. It's the classic Parisian look, especially when worn with a beret and one of those paint palettes. It's no doubt someone might be rocking that style in public at any given point, but this bus stop has four white stripes? That's more white stripes than the band The White Stripes. They only have two!
It's amazing how much swag little boys can have. Since they are so small and non-threatening they can get away with a lot more than a full-sized man. Last time I tried to pull a girls hair to show her that I liked her, I was kicked out of the club. Worst part of it all, I don't think she got the message. At least I'll always have a chunk of her beautiful brunette hair.
Wearing a shirt that says "Sorry girls I only date supermodels" is something a grown man definitely can't pull off. Questionable punctuation aside, it's an adorable choice for a child. Sure, it's setting them up for unrealistic expectations of women but let's just ignore that and focus on the cute! He'll be able to talk about the time he went on a date with Victoria Secret model, Rosie Huntington Whitely, for years to come with this photo proof.
Glitch in the Matrix
Every person on Earth is so distinctly unique and beautiful. That's something that was probably true in 600 BC when there were only like 2,000 people. With 7 billion people on Earth now, I'm sorry to break it to you, but there's probably like ten of you out there. It's just simple math. God doesn't have THAT many ideas. He hit Ctrl-V on you and took a smoke break.
These guys prove my theory. Not only do they have the same shirt - heck, that's no big deal. They sold more than one of those shirts - but they have the same shorts too. Someone needs to experiment on these guys to see if you stab one of them if the other will feel it. Stabbing people is only OK if it's in the name of science.
I Wanna Rocky Road All Night, and Ice Cream Every Day
I've left some art masterpieces on elementary school desks never to be seen again. I think we've all had that experience where we bust out our mechanical pencil and draw a work of art only to rub it away a few minutes later so we don't get caught. Or we'd draw that weird S logo made out of lines. You know the one I'm talking about. What is that thing anyway?
Whoever drew the ice cream cone on this desk went all out. They added color and everything to ensure their hard work wasn't going anywhere. Are we sure this isn't the work of Banksy? It has his distinct sense of meta social commentary, or maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Whoever did it, it is the perfect drawing for the specific situation when someone is wearing a Gene Simmons shirt.
I love a good comeback, but a comeback is only as strong as what it's coming back to. If someone just says, "you suck" there isn't much to go off of. You usually have to say something equally as stupid back (I usually go with "you too!") Then there are jabs that have enough meat on the bone for you to build off of and come up with something clever. That's the unintentional case with these shirts. "Can you walk the walk?" is a loaded question. It's no "you suck."
Serendipitously, this other guy's t-shirt has the perfect comeback. "You walk. I fly." These guys' shirts are like an 80s buddy cop duo. The shirt on the left is Sylvester Stallone and the one on the right is Kurt Russell. This is the fashion equivalent of 'Tango and Cash.'
This Kid is Going to Blow Up One Day
At first glance this looks like a normal, boring picture. At second glance it also looks like a normal, boring picture. At third glance it looks that way too. It's not until you know the story behind the picture that it looks different. Not like a Magic Eye picture different though, so don't put your nose up to it trying to see a hidden tiger or anything. Trust me, I checked.
It turns out that the day and moment this picture was taken a bomb threat had been called into the school. No one knew who it came from or if it was real. Everyone was terrified. Cut to this dude literally telling everyone that he's the bomb. I don't think it made him any friends. Luckily the bomb was fake. The only thing damaged was this guy's reputation.
The Perfect Disguise
Peacocking is when you wear something so bright and flashy that no one can ignore you, especially the opposite sex. A lot of men use articles of clothing like fedoras or big, flashy pieces of jewelry to peacock. I literally use peacock feathers. I jam a bunch of them into the back of my pants and walk into the club. I'm usually asked to leave before any ladies have the opportunity to talk to me, but that's ok.I have a peacock I can go home to.
This dude peacocked hard with his bright white and orange outfit. What he didn't consider is that orange and white striped is one of the symbols of danger as is evident by this photo of him next to a construction site. He's practically telling ladies to watch out and step around him.
Unfortunately it's still very common for people to see any affection between men as a gay thing. All jokes aside, it really is a damaging thing to tell boys that having friendships or showing physical affection towards each other is wrong. It's what leads to homophobia and adult-male depression. But for real, it's also really funny to call your friend gay after he gives you a hug. It's just one of those things that's wrong but feels so right. Maybe one day we'll evolve past it.
Hopefully that sets the scene for why this photo is funny. Right in the middle of these two teammates embracing from a hard fought game, we see an unintentional caption in the background via the other team's jersey name. He's over there saying, "you two are gay," and of course they respond with, "No, you're gay."
All Hands on Deck
Have you ever seen the hover-hand phenomenon? It happens when guys (usually geeky guys) take pictures with beautiful women yet are too afraid to touch them so they hover their hand over their bodies. It's so beautifully awkward that it's actually a relieving surprise when you don't see it. I'm sure the girls like it though. Twelve hours of geek hands on your shoulder can't be good for the skin.
That's not the case here. This dude really succeeds by not doing the hover hand and going all in instead. The only problem is that it seems to have inspired the guy on his shirt to do the same. That's Vault Boy from Fallout and he's straight up grabbing her ta-ta! I knew the #metoo movement was serious but I didn't know it extended to video game characters too.
This Shirt is for the Birds
How many shirts have you completely ruined by staining them? My number is embarrassingly high. That's what I get for eating beets and drinking mustard for lunch every day. I also get frequent heartburn because of it, but enough about my diet. A stain on your favorite shirt can feel like a death sentence, unless it's one of the few situations where it enhances the shirt.
This stain definitely enhances the shirt. What was once a simple and beautiful design depicting a bird on a tree is now a hilarious design depicting one of nature's nastiest habits. It might not be so charming once the stain starts to smell, but it might end up the prototype of scratch and sniff shirts. Let's just hope the first batch of them is something more appealing like banana.
His Own Worst Enemy
In general I have no problem with people taking selfies. Think about it, 20 years ago if you tried to take a selfie you'd have to pay money to get it developed and if it sucked you'd just have to live with it. In most cases it would suck too, because you either had a disposable camera that took crappy photos or you had a really expensive camera that took crappy photos. The options were limited. Of course people go ham on selfies these days.
Check out this guy. Mr. "Stop Taking Selfies" is out there in the world making sure to display his agenda for the whole world to see on his shirt. The irony is that he actually enhances any selfie by being in it. If I saw him on the street, I'd actually ask him for a selfie.
You ever see two people and wonder how those two are possibly friends? I once saw a black guy hanging out with a white dude wearing a confederate flag jacket. I don't mean to make any big assumptions about people who sport the confederate flag, but it seems like someone might be confused in that situation. It's kind of like when you see a cat and a dog sleeping together. Good on you two for getting along, but I'm still shook.
In this case, these two girls are clearly friends for a reason. One of them thinks that every cat is their best friend, the other thinks they are a cat. That's the good thing about cat people. We aren't afraid to wear cat apparel, and when we do we make tons of other cat friends.
This Does Not Computer
The English language can get confusing since there are so many words with multiple meanings. Take literally for example. Literally can literally mean not literally. You can go ahead and read that sentence a few times. I'm still not sure it makes sense. I guess what I'm trying to say is I literally don't know if it makes sense. Or maybe I literally do. Who knows anymore.
In the case of this guy's shirt, the confusion between "computer servers" and "restaurant servers" must have left the wait staff very afraid. His shirt obviously means to reference computer servers, but when worn at a restaurant it's a confusing and poor choice. I guess it wasn't enough that this guy had to broadcast his geekdom to everyone. He also wanted to creep out everyone in the restaurant. I hope he tips well.
Your Wish Has Been Granted
I call this type of shirt the "I'm with Stupid" shirt. That shirt works most of the time because most people are stupid. Only if you were standing next to Stephen Hawking (RIP) would you be clearly wrong. You have an even higher rate of success with a version like this girl's shirt. There's only one Andrew Scott in the world, so chances are good that your shirt is telling the truth. We all know that's the most important thing we think about when putting on a shirt: is this shirt conveying the world accurately.
Hilariously, this girl wore the shirt on the day she met Andrew Scott. It's the one instance where her wish could be granted. It looks like she's embarrassed though, which is understandable because she's basically outing herself as a stalker. Usually it takes a court subpoena for me.