Divas were the best idea to come to professional wrestling since barbed wire ropes. For those of you who don't know, Divas is the female division of the WWE. The recipe for success is clear. Men love women. Women love women. Put women in the ring. It was that simple.
Now the WWE Diva division is insanely popular. There's even several reality shows about the Divas that either follow the entire division, or specific wrestlers. No, none of them are called Real Housewives of the WWE. I'm talking about shows like Total Divas, Total Bellas, and the new Miz and Mrs.
If you're a fan of the WWE and the Diva reality shows, you'll see plenty of familiar faces. #1 may shock you, don't be too upset! We all know you have your personal favorites, so let me know who you think should have been at number one in the comments.
50. Debra Marshall
Debra is awesome in her own right, but she's the best by association. First off, she'd accompany Jeff Jarrett as his valet. I love Jeff Jarret. Jeff Jarrett was the biggest jerk. He was so cocky in his bedazzled jacket. When he did his strut the crowd either went wild or they booed. Sometimes they'd even go wild with boos. Boos hurling willy nilly everywhere. I remember him always being a jerk to Debra, but that was all part of the fun.
Secondly, Debra is also a queen. Why? Because she's married to a king, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Some people have Hulk Hogan. Others have Stone Cold Steve Austin. He's that big. He taught me how to flip people off the right way. Now, just imagine him saying "Debra," in that gravelly, Texas accent. I think I might set it as my ringtone.
49. Brittany (Santana)
Brittany, real name Santana Garrett, is a second generation wrestler. Her father would tll her stories about wrestling and show her the ropes (no pun intended). That's so sweet it should be a father/daughter movie. What I've noticed with wrestlers is that when they have wrestling in their blood their resumes are very long. Brittany has been all over, including the WWE in their NXT program. That's a developmental program in Florida, but for many fans it's as big of a deal as WWE.
I think I'd prefer to be in NXT. It'd be easier to stand out than in the WWE. That's the key to living a good life. Be a big fish in a small pond. Being a small fish in a big pond is way overrated, especially if you're afraid of getting eaten by big fish.
Rebel started out in Ohio Valley Wrestling, a regional wrestling organization, before Christy Hemme (also on this list) recommended her for TNA. Looks like my parents were right. It's about who you know. She stayed with TNA for three years before moving to Japan's World Wonder Ring Stardom. The Japanese have the best names for things, don't they? Here we have World Wrestling Entertainment. Not a horrible name, but a little boring compared to WORLD WONDER RING STARDOM. It's just a string of awesome words together. Even their normal products are like that. Super Sparkle Ultra Mega Soap. Flashing Sword Relic Hunter Butter Knife. Rebel does have a cool finishing move name though. It's on par with the Japanese. It's the Flying Booty Guillotine.
After her stint in Japan she returned to Ohio Valley Wrestling. Who says you can't go back home?
47. Dawn Marie Psaltis
"Dawn Marie Psaltis" sounds like a skin condition, doesn't it? "If you have dry, rashy skin, then you may suffer from Dawn Marie Psaltis." I'm just having a little fun, but it's no surprise her wrestling name is simply Dawn Marie. Psaltis isn't very showbizzy. What's interesting in general about her is that she started out as a real estate agent. I don't't know anyone who has gone from real estate to wrestling. She should get back into it. She can brand herself as the Wrestling Realtor. "Pin me and you get a free credit check."
I should really get into marketing. Wrestling Realtor is a great idea. It's almost as good as my idea for Lingerie Lawyers. I just need to figure out how to stop getting kicked out of court for improper dress code.
46. Angelina Love
Angelina Young is a famed TNA Wrestler who has won the Knockouts Championship six times. I haven't even won it once. What am I doing with my life? I could always do a Juwana Man situation and pretend I'm a woman to infiltrate the organization. Something about that sounds really wrong. I think it's the combat aspect of it. It's one thing when you're dunking over a woman. It's another when you're throwing her through a table.
In the Lucha Libre organizations she went by the name Canadian Angel. For those wondering, yes she is Canadian. No one has ever claimed being Canadian just as a career move. Canadian pretend they are Americans all the time, but not the other way around. We'd definitely like to take credit for Drake. If Canada ever wants to give him up, we're down.
Although Roxxi never made it to the WWE, she's had a great career in TNA and other organizations. Her most interesting character was when she was the valet for the Voodoo Kin Mafia. There's something strangely sexy about a voodoo woman. You know that they can ruin your life at any moment, and they most likely will in the end anyway. With a voodoo woman you never really know what's real and what's not, because they could just be doing voodoo on you. What is love when your girl literally has a love potion?
I'm not one to mess with voodoo dolls at all. I know that there's really no reason to worry about them, but they still terrify me. Even the voodoo dolls they sell at gag stores scare me. I don't want anyone buying one of those and naming them Julio.
Tara/Victoria has gone by either name whether you've followed her on WWE or TNA. Rebranding is important. That's something you can only do in the entertainment world. It's not like I can work at Google then leave to work at Amazon and say, "you can call me Tony now." It would be weird. What's even weirder is the thought that I could even get a job at Google or Amazon.
The person who got Tara into wrestling is a wrestling legend herself: Chyna. It's reported that Chyna told Tara that she should do wrestling and the rest is history. I love that someone's life could just do such a direction change. Just deciding to do wrestling as a career seems like a pretty huge decision. Not everyone is cut out for body slams and submissions.
43. Lacey Von Erich
Lacey Von Erich is a third generation wrestler to her father and grandfather. It's like the army or the police force. "My father was a wrestler. My father's father was a wrestler. My father's father's father's father's father's father's father was a wrestler too. He wrestled wooly mammoths." Whatever high they get from wrestling must also affect the children, because we see many wrestlers have wrestling children. Let's do some scientific work to find the wrestling gene.
I bet the wrestling bug especially affects people with two wrestling parents more than just the one. Think about it. If your parents were both accountants, you wouldn't really register that there are other ways to make a living. It would always make sense to be an accountant. If both your parents are wrestlers it probably feels stupid to go into an office job.
Sunny is, for all intent and purposes, the first WWE Diva. This was before they even planned to do anything with the Diva brand. They just put her out there for the public to see and the rest is history. The thing about being the first at something is that sometimes you don't know you're the first. Think about a serial killer movie like Scream. The first person killed doesn't know that they are the first in a long line of victims. They are just trying to have sex in their car on the top of a hill and that's just how things turned out.
Intentional or not, Sunny started a wave that we're still riding today. If she hadn't been popular, who knows where we'd bee with female wrestlers right now. At one point she was the most downloaded celebrity on the internet, which shows you how much of pervs WWE fans are.
If I ever need to open a jar of pickles, the first person I'm going to is Aksana. That's a sexy woman built like a mack truck if I've ever seen one. It's not surprising considering she started bodybuilding at the age of 16 in Lithuania. I feel like body building in Lithuania is more rough and tough. Bodybuilding in the United States sounds like a lot of carb counting and listening to podcasts in an Equinox. Lithuanians probably lift mortar shells and hogs. Obviously I know nothing about Lithuania.
Aksana was a fan favorite for a while. You can add me to that fan list. I might not know a lot about Lithuania, but I know I like their women. That's good enough for me. I'll move anywhere if the women are beautiful enough. I'd move into an active volcano if all the women in it looked like Rihanna.
40. Beth Phoenix
Beth Phoenix is an absolute boss in the WWE world. She's the youngest woman to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame after her retirement and now does color commentary occasionally. She's also part of a wrestling dynasty. Her husband in real life is famed wrestler Edge who is also in the WWE Hall of Fame. They must be incorrigible during couple's game nights. "WHo cares if we lost pictionary... we're both in the hall of fame."
During her time she was so dominant that they called her The Glamazon. She does look like someone who belongs in the cast of Wonder Woman. It's like the Amazonian women in that episode of Futurama. She will give you death by snoo snoo. If you're wondering what snoo snoo is, I'll give you a hint. At first it will feel good, but over time your pelvic bone will be crushed to dust.
39. Terri Runnels
Terri Runnels had the hardest job that any Diva has ever had in WWE history. She had to try to outshine Godust. Goldust was a very sexual male wrestler who wore a gold leotard and gold painted skin. He was the type of wrestler who would try to kiss and lick his opponents. Needless to say, I was a huge fan. Terri Runnels was the real life wife of Goldust, and also his valet. When they came out, Goldust stole the show. It's the first time I felt what my therapist calls "conflicting sexual emotions."
They later divorced (big shock, right?), and she went on to manage other wrestlers including Edge and Christian and the Hardy Boyz. Still, whenever she came out with them, I'd long for Godust. I need to schedule another session with my therapist.
38. Lilian Garcia
Let's talk about a true legend: Lilian Garcia. Lilian Garcia was with the WWE for over ten years, and in fact was the first Diva to be with the organization for over a decade. I remember watching her throughout so many wrestling events from Raws to Wrestlemanias. In some ways she's probably been in the ring more often than anyone else in this list. The reason for that is because her role was as a ring announcer. To me, she's the female Mean Gene.
She even sang the National Anthem at a Wrestlemania. It wasn't as good as Fergie's at the All Star Game though. Did you catch that? It was so unique and beautiful. Just kidding. It was awful, but it was unique. It's the only National Anthem performance Mike Pence was OK with everyone kneeling for.
37. Alicia Fox
Alicia Fox is so beautiful that she could easily con me into paying for her rent. You ever hear about those situations? A pretty girl will chat with a guy online. A few instant messages later and he's cleared his bank account for her. That's a specific type of beauty, and she's got it. That reminds me, there are a few girls I need to mail checks to. I better get right to that.
Alicia Fox is far from just a pretty face though. She's a tremendously skilled wrestler who has had noteworthy matches with some of the best. She's the only African American WWE DIvas in history as well. Isn't that a little sad, though? In 1989 that might be some kind of progressive thing, but in 2018 that shouldn't be the case anywhere anymore.
36. Becky Lynch
Is there anything sexier than a fiery-haired Irish girl who fights? It's probably better in fantasy than in reality, but it's still great to think about. Imagine having beers with her until finally she says, "let's fight!" and gives you a right cross on the chin. If that's not romance, I don't know what is! No, really. I have no idea what romance is! Please help me!
Ultimately I love Becky Lynch because she's unique. How many female Irish wrestlers can you name in the first place? Quite a unique Pokemon, indeed! Unfortunately she suffered a brain injury in 2006 during a match in Germany. It took her out of it for a while, but she eventually came back. I'm such a wuss that if I ever got a brain injury I'd probably never leave the house again.
I think it's plain to see which of these Divas are simply healthy, and which Divas have brought fitness to a whole new level. Not that one is better than the other. It's necessary that there are different body types or else it gets boring. What I want to see is a plus sized diva. I mean super sized. Let's get more of them in there. If you can't tell by her gorgeously ripped body, Kaitlyn is first and foremost a fitness model.
Along with her wrestling ventures, Kaitlyn started a couple of businesses centered around health. A smoothie shop and a work-out clothing brand called Celestial Bodiez. My idea of a smoothie isn't very healthy though. Three scoops of ice cream, peanut butter, and chocolate syrup. Wait, that's not a smoothie. That's just a sunday, isn't it?
34. Taryn Terrell
If you know Taryn Terrell from the WWE then you'll know her as Tiffany, but her stint was only short. Not that a smile like that had any trouble finding a home on television. She's been all over the wrestling circuit, ultimately landing with Impact. After WWE she changed to Taryn Terrell because she must really love alliteration.
She holds the record for longest running TNA Knockouts champion at 279 days. I think that record is a little strange. If I wanted to beat a record like that I'd just try to wrestle as little as possible. One match a year maximum. That would make me a 365-day record holder even if I only won once. My plan is genius. The only part is I need to figure out is how to become a champion in the first place.
33. Ronda Rousey
Ronda Rousey got her start by putting every single opponent in an armbar within thirty seconds. In the MMA/UFC, she was unstoppable. Until she was stopped by a kick to the head. It happens to the best of us. The good thing is that she leveraged her success in the ring to become a huge personality. What do you do when you have someone with a huge personality who can also take a punch? You hire them in the WWE.
Ronda Rousey has been a welcome hit in the WWE, just recently making her Wrestlemania debut. Fans enjoyed the match, and there hasn't been too much Haterade being poured out. All she has to worry about now is if Holly Holm comes to the WWE. Watch that headkick Ronda. We can't go through that again.
32. Sasha Banks
Sasha Banks obviously oozes sex appeal. I think it's the bright colors. It's like in the animal world. The brighter the color, the easier it is to attract a mate. If that works with feathers, why wouldn't it work with hair? The only difference is that birds can't go out and dye their feathers. Don't get me wrong. Like all the women on this list, Sasha Banks sex appeal doesn't mean she doesn't know how to wrestle. Sasha Banks was one of the first women to fight in a hell in a cell match.
Hell in a cell is a giant cage covering the rings on all sides, including the top. It's not a place for men, woman, or child. There's no such thing as a calm, cool, relaxed hell in a cell match. They all go horribly wrong.
31. Melina Perez
In the world of wrestling, and I'm talking about the inner world behind the scenes, respect is everything. You want to have the respect of the people you look up to. Wrestling is an art form, sport, and entertainment all in one. The people who are truly great have put in years and years to make it good. Bret Hart was truly one of the greats. He's one of those wrestlers you want to commend you, because it actually means something. Why would I bring him up? Because Bret Hart is on record saying that Melina is one of the best wrestlers he's ever seen.
I'm sure that compliment wasn't lost on her. Pretty much any wrestler, male or female, would die if Bret Hart said that about them. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Time to put on some Melina highlight reels.
Natalya is one of the Divas with the best wrestling on a technical level. Her skills are unmatched with good reason. She's part of the Hart family. As in Bret Hart, Owen Hart, and Jim the Anvil Neidhart. She's a third generation wrestler who has trained with the best since her family is literally the best. The best there is. The best there ever was. And the best there ever will be.
She's been an accomplished champion during a time when the Divas division was at its most competitive. That sounds odd to say for something that is predetermined, but it's very true. The wrestling talent hasn't been stronger than in Natalya's time with the organization. How many wrestling fans are upset that I just said wrestling is predetermined? Time fo the hate comments. Don't @ me.
Emma is another wrestler who got her start very young. How young? 13 years old. It sounds crazy to let a 13 year old get into that, but that's what 13 year olds do anyway. At least when you're actively trying to be a wrestler you'll figure out the safest way to fall. Me and my friends were just jumping off roofs with no plan whatsoever for no reason at all. In that respect, a controlled fall on your back isn't so bad.
On top of that Emma is also Australian. A 13 year old Australian girl is the equivalent to a thirty year old American man who does crossfit. They build them tough out there in the bush. Don't let the looks fool you. An Australian girl can outdrink you and beat you in an arm wrestling contest.
28. Velvet Sky
Wrestling fans in general may know Velvet Sky, but WWE fans may have missed her brief stint. Velvet Sky, which sounds more like a pornstars name than a wrestlers. Then again, so do all the men's names. Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Goldust. Those all seem very pornographic to me. Compared to those, Velvet Sky isn't so bad.
She's been in several wrestling organization including TNA and even the Mexican lucha libre circuit. Now that's legit. The lucha libres always were the most exciting to me. I'd love to be one of those guys, except I can't imagine wrestling in a mask. I can barely run a mile with an oxygen tank attached to me. Why am I even running with an oxygen tank? Because I live in LA and the air quality is that bad.
27. Gail Kim
I hadn't known too much about Gail Kim before, but after reading about her, Gail Kim is pretty amazing. She has a couple of records that are definitely worth noting. So guess what? I'm going to note them. She had been wrestling in independent organizations before getting in the WWE, but once she got in the WWE she won the championship in her first match. Talk about hitting your goals early. I'd retire right then and there. Save yourself the future backache.
After leaving the WWE she went to Impact wrestling and became a seven time KNOCKOUTS champion. That doesn't mean she knocked out seven people. That's what they call their female wrestling division. This girl is racking up records left and right. To top it off, she's the first female in the TNA Hall of fame.
Layla became part of the WWE after a Diva search in 2006, but something even more incredible happened for her in 2006. She danced at the MTV Video Music Awards for Kanye West's performance. Love him or hate him, Kanye West is a legend. He may have gone crazy a few times, but who hasn't? Your crazy just wasn't shown in the spotlight.
I'm the type of guy who would take Layla out on a date and the only thing I'd want to talk about is Kanye West. I wouldn't ask her any questions about herself, and I'd keep insisting that she text him for me, even though she keeps telling me that she doesn't have his number. Don't I sound great on dates? I'm actually very wonderful on first dates unless you have any connection to Kanye West.
On the Total Divas Show, Lana is a total pot stirrer. It's both great and horrible at the same time. She can create moments that are truly cringeworthy considering it's reality tv, but then you remember that it's reality tv. Reality tv isn't reality. It's just regular tv that they decided to call reality tv to trick us all into thinking we're not as interesting or special as other people. If you can keep all that in mind, then Lana is absolutely hilarious in the show.
She's married to Rusev and the two of them have an interesting relationship to say the least. In the ring she's his valet/manager. I can't imagine blurring those lines. You know what they say, manager in the ring, freak in the sheets. I don't know if anyone ever says that actually.
If you were to ask me who was the first WWE Diva, I don't know if I'd be able to give you the correct answer. What I would be able to do is tell you is that it doesn't matter. Sable is the OG Diva. She might as well be the first one because she's the one who entered my life as a young boy watching the USA Network at 11 at night. Sable would come on screen and I'd be filled with feeling I didn't know what to do with. They are feeling I still don't fully know what to do with.
Sable is known outside of the wrestling world too. She went somewhat mainstream for being so sexy. Even non-wrestling fans knew about her. Especially after she was in Playboy. That opened up a lot of new doors for her.
23. Alexa Bliss
Alexa Bliss looks like every girl I ever had a crush on in high school. She's got that punk rocker look, but it doesn't look like her idea of a romantic time is cutting each other with razor blades. We all know the type of punk rocker girl who looks like they're into that. I even dated a few of them. Don't believe me? I have the scars to prove it.
I was part of the rocker scene in highschool, which means I was exposed to a lot of girls like Alexa Bliss. I wore women's jeans and obscure band t-shirts. That's what everyone was wearing (even the girls, obviously), so I thought that would get me a girl like Alexa Bliss. Let me tell you, the strategy doesn't work when you look awful in women's jeans.
22. Eva Marie
Eva Marie is uniquely beautiful. The vibrant red hair gives her an ethereal, goddess quality. She just can't let those roots show or we'll have to revoke her goddess card. Sorry, but real goddesses don't show their roots. Good thing she never does. I can't imagine how much she spends on hair dye though. She's the type of girl that makes you stop in the middle of the road and say, "damn." Then cars start to honk at you. Sometimes one of them even hits you.
Eva Marie had a hard time on Total Divas. The other girls didn't accept her because she wasn't as experienced as them yet she was getting the same opportunities. First off, ya'll were just jealous because Eva Marie is beautiful. Second off, just let people shine the way they shine.
21. Candice Michelle
Candice MIchelle was known for having a lot of sexy segment in the Smackdown and Raw. Who can blame that type of casting? If you have a hammer, you use it to hammer things. If you have a sexy woman, you user her to do sexy things. Maybe that's a little sexist (it definitely is), but I'm only talking in terms of the WWE, which literally had lingerie limbo contests on their shows. It's not the most woke organization, so I'm not judging them on that.
Years ago Candice Michelle had a storyline where she was Vince McMahon's sex slave. You wonder how these things get cleared for TV. I'm pretty sure a ton of kids watch wrestling. Then again, back when I watched it there was a storyline where one wrestler was going to get his penis cut off for dating a Yakuza bosses daughter.
20. Stephanie McMahon
You can't talk women in wrestling without talking about Stephanie McMahon. She's the daughter of Vince McMahon, the owner of the company. You have to love the McMahon family. They've kept the WWE going for decades on the business level, but they've also kept the entertainment factor up by casting themselves. Even Stephanie McMahon's mom has been in the ring plenty of times getting beat up. I can't imagine what their Thanksgiving dinners look like. If you ever go to their Thanksgiving and their only chairs are steel chairs, then you better leave.
I remember when Stephanie McMahon came on the scene. We were all thinking, "THAT'S Vince McMahon's daughter? WTF?" She was gorgeous and sexy, but as her storylines went on she showed her McMahon bite. She's mainly been a villainous type of character throughout her career, but boy do those McMahons play the villain role well.
19. Nikki Bella
Nikki Bella is one half of the Bella Twins, my favorite Divas in all of Diva history. They are sweet and have a great rapport with each other. A great sister rapport means a lot of interesting arguments. Twins know eachother better than anyone, so that makes for some great fights. If you're a twin you always know what to bring up to jab at the other person, even more so than a normal brother and sister combo.
Nikki Bella dated WWE legend John Cena for years, but they recently split up. If you had watched Total Divas then you might have seen the writing on the wall. John Cena didn't want kids. She did. It was only a matter of time before the biological clock did its work. When your biological clock starts ticking you better be ready to answer the call, or to take out the batteries.
18. Renee Young
So far Renee Young hasn't stepped into the ring to fight, but I'm OK with that. Not everyone in the WWE should be repeatedly punched and hit with chairs. She's an on-screen personality and interviewer, doing backstage stuff for RAW and Smackdown. I'd love to interview wrestlers. No matter what you ask them they just go off on some other tangent. "Do you have any special strategy for the match tonight?" / "The winds of fire will rain down upon him like a hail of demon frogs!"
Renee Young is Canadian too. Canada keeps giving us hits. Renee Young, Drake, the concept of universal health care. Canada needs to keep sending us their stuff. I'm not going to be happy until I see as many poutine restaurants as there are froyo places. Seriously, poutine might be better than Drake.
17. Christy Hemme
Christy Hemme is another model turned WWE diva. She won the Diva search, getting $250k and a one year contract, much like the other Divas who broke in through the search. That doesn't sound like a bad career trajectory. I haven't made $250k in three years combined. I'll wear skimpy outfits and get thrown through tables for $250k for the year. Just tell me where to sign up. We're getting more relaxed on gender norms, so maybe I have a shot.
Christy Hemme was not only a Diva in the WWE, she was a ring announcer for TNA. That's the dream job. You go into the ring and read from a card, then leave. It's easier than all the other jobs, whether that be referee or concession stand. At the concession stand you have to ask "can i take your order?" hundreds of times
16. Brooke Tessmacher
Before Brooke Tessmacher entered the world of professional wrestling, she was a model and pageant queen. Her most notable pageant is one that we are all very familiar with: Miss Hooters. I love the idea of a Miss Hooters. There'd be a swimsuit competition, question and answer section, and a wing eating contest. There'd have to be, right? What do you get out of winning Miss Hooters, your Saturday shift covered?
What got her into wrestling was her agent telling her that she was too muscular for pageants. I'm down for a muscular girl though. I'm unnaturally weak as it is, so pretty much any girl is stronger than me anyway. That can be really embarrassing. At least if my girlfriend was super ripped then it wouldn't be so embarassing. It would just make sense that I couldn't beat her in an arm wrestling competition.
15. Brie Bella
For me, there's nothing closer to WWE royalty than the Bella twins. If you've watched them on Total Divas then you know that they are absolutely hilarious and sweet. I think that's why the fans love them so much. You can see them be a certain way in the ring, and then you can watch Total Divas and get a whole new side of them. Everybody loves to get inside the world of their favorite celebrities.
Brie Bella is the one married to Daniel Bryan. That's a wrestling power couple for sure. When one of them is injured, the other one understands what they are going through. I need to find someone like that in my field. When my fingers start to ache or my eyes start to strain, they will know how hard it is to be a writer like me.
14. Ashley Massaro
Ashley Massaro got her start in the WWE with the Diva search in 2005 which got her $250k and a contract with the WWE. Not bad at all, even for a job where you get punched. She's also had experience in the World Independent Ladies Division Wrestling: WILD Wrestling. You have to love when an organization makes a long name just for the sake of having their name be WILD when shortened. That's American ingenuity.
You can also spot her on 'Survivor: China.' Now that's what the Survivor series needs to do. They need to cast all wrestlers or MMA fighters. The challenges could be actual wrestling matches and fights instead of puzzles. I'm telling you. That's the future of entertainment. It's not like there aren't hundreds of retired wrestlers out there hoping for another opportunity at fame.
13. Summer Rae
You're never ready for a sentence like this: "Summer Rae is an American football player." So many questions immediately swirl in my head. I'm not even going into the argument of whether women should be able to play football or not. I'm just focusing on the fact that they currently don't. It is true though. Summer Rae is a professional football player, just not for the NFL. There's a little organization called the LFL (Lingerie Football League). Yes, a lingerie football league. We've peaked as a society.
Summer Rae was a quarterback in the LFL, which is pretty awesome, and she was also an original member of the Total Divas cast. I love Total Divas but only caught up with it in the last few years. Now I want to go back and watch the Summer Rae episodes. It's not like I have any writing to do...
Maria has a history of wrestling in tons of different organizations including TNA, New Japan Pro Wrestling, and of course, WWE. I don't know anything specific about New Japan Pro Wrestling, but I have seen some Japanese wrestling videos. Those things get crazy. I've seen one where they had actual landmines in the ring. As odd as it is to say, I can understand chairs and even barbed wire ropes. Landmines seems a bit much.
Maria is currently in the WWE as the manager to her real life husband. That's a situation where reality blends with real life. Sure, she's actually his wife, but she's not actually signing contracts for him. In the WWE, manager just means "person who hits the other guy with a chair if the referee isn't looking." Not a bad gig when you think about it. I was a manager at Taco Bell and I never got to hit someone with a chair. Came close a few times though.
Eve is another one of the Divas who came from a Diva search. Thank god for those Diva searches because they brought in a lot of new talent that might not have been exposed to wrestling. The Paige's of the world will always find the WWE. Eve was (and still is) an actress, dancer, model, and Brazilian-Jiu Jitsu instructor before she came to the WWE. Those are some awesome skills to bring to the ring.
Eve started out as a TV personality on WWE, but quickly shifted to wrestling to become a Diva champion. Her versatility as an actress and overall talent put her in many different positions as both a wrestler, and in fake administrative roles (for acting purposes). It's always funny how they'll hire a wrestler to play the Executive Administrator or something like that. I guess no one wants to see real Executive Administrators on screen.
10. Mickie James
Mickie James is the real deal when its comes to the world of wrestling. She got her start outside of the WWE, which I think is always a cool detail for divas. It's one thing to want to start at the biggest pillar of the sport, but who wouldn't? It takes someone with a true passion for the art to start on the independent circuit and work their way up. It's not the easiest life, so you gotta love it.
Mickie James had a hilarious storyline as a Trish Stratus stalker in her 2005 debut and had a run as the Divas champion for quite a while. She later made her way to TNA wrestling where she had some success as well. If you're a big fan, you may be excited to hear she's also a country singer.
9. Michelle McCool
Life is weird sometimes. One day you're a teacher in Palatka, Florida. The next day you're the WWE Divas champion. That ever happen to you? If so you may have something in common with Michelle McCool. She tried out for the 2004 WWE Diva Search and got it. Suddenly she went from spelling lessons to submission lessons. If you've ever taught children then you know that sometimes you just want to put them in a torture rack, so I can see how the two careers mix.
She's held several Diva titles for extended periods of time, so she's no slouch in the ring. She's since retired but her life as an entertainment personality blossomed after her big competition win with the Diva search. In 2010 she was even named the #1 in 'Pro Wrestling Illustrated's' top fifty list.
Paige is awesome because she's been wrestling every since she was thirteen. Her parents had their very own wrestling organization and let her wrestle in it as Britani Knight. My parents wouldn't even let me go to the mall alone at thirteen. Though my dad did throw me through a few tables when I was a kid, so I guess it all evens out in the grand scheme of things.
Paige is from the UK which gives her some extra sexy points, but then she hits you with this punk/goth look that gives her even more sexy points. What is this girl trying to do to me? On top of all that, she's a fantastic wrestler. She's won several different championships all over the wrestling world, WWE included. She's such a boss that now she's the general manager of Smackdown.
I remember first seeing Lita and thinking, "Now that's a girl who should be wrestling." She gives off that intense vibe like she's the type who gets her boyfriend into fights. We all know that type of girl who can start trouble anywhere. It's always the type of trouble her boyfriend has to finish or talk his way out of. Not saying that Lita can't knock a guy's teeth out if she wanted, but the men's code of honor makes it so we can't let women do that. Don't come after me, feminists. I just don't want you getting punched.
Compared to some of the other Divas who play more into the Playboy playmate style of role, Lita has a very unique quality to her. She was paired with the Hardy Boys, and not just any Diva could handle that. The Hardy Boys specialty is the tables, ladders, and chairs match after all.
6. Maryse Ouellet
Maryse Ouellet is probably my favorite diva ever. She's got that sexy French accent, but it's also not quite French because it's French Canadian. Somehow that makes it even sexier. She's got the elegance of a French woman, but gives off the tough vibe of a Canadian lumberjack. The fact that she's the wife of The Mizz is even better. That's a power couple if I've ever heard of one. If you've seen them on the show WWE Divas, then you know their relationship is one we should all strive for. She's also incredibly charming and sweet. What could be better?
I love when you can watch someone be an awful character on screen, but then in real life they are incredibly sweet. With wrestling it can get a little hard to tell which part of these people is real and which part is fake.
5. AJ Lee
AJ Lee is a fan favorite who has since retired to become a writer. I'd love to buy her book, mostly because I heard there were some pictures in it. If there's one thing the world needs more of it's pictures of AJ Lee. She often played a mentally unstable character which only added to her hotness. There's something hot about a crazy chick. It's the same way that women love bad boys who still love on their mother's couch.
AJ Lee is 5'1". I"m always mystified by people that short, especially when they are surrounded by some of the biggest people in entertainment. A lot of these divas are 5'8" or taller. What's her special move, running under the person's legs? I'm sure that she's a great person to wrestle when you're tired. Lugging around a 250 lb guy sounds like the worst, but picking up AJ Lee sounds fun and easy.
4. Torrie Wilson
Back in the day there was WCW and there was WWF (now it's WWE since so many people were getting men beating each other up confused with the World Wildlife Foundation). I'd watch WCW first at 6pm, and then WWE would come on from 8-10pm. It was like the two organizations were in cahoots with each other to brainwash people into watching five hours of wrestling every Monday. WCW eventually shut down, but that's where I first saw Torrie Wilson.
Torrie Wilson was a diva in WCW before diva was even a term. Luckily her and a bunch of other WCW talent came over to WWE. Torrie Wilson would make her mark as a valet, which is such a good person to have around. I would kill for a valet. I'd probably end up with someone like Short Round though.
3. Stacey Keibler
If you want an idea of just how hot Stacey Keibler is, then all you need to know is that she dated George Clooney. Dating George Clooney is like getting a congressional stamp of approval for hotness. "You're ugly." / "I dated George Clooney." / "I will shut up right away then. My apologies." When she came onto the WWE scene I remember thinking, "you don't belong here. You're girl-next-door pretty." Maybe that's not fair to all the girls-next-door, but if you want to prove me wrong just go jump in the ring. She certainly did.
Stacey Keibler is also a great dancer, as you can see on Dancing with the Stars. At 5'10" she's got the legs to cover the dance floor in a way that has me purring like a cat. Sorry, George, but you blew it.
2. Trish Stratus
Trish Stratus. The name alone turns your head. If you were a construction worker and someone said "Trish Stratus" you'd immediately start cat calling out into nowhere. That type of raw energy is what had fans loving her from the get go. Don't people know that there are other places you can go to look at sexy ladies who don't get punched in the face? Speaking of places that sexy ladies go to get punched in the face: Chris Brown's car.
Trish Stratus is awesome because she started out in highly sexualized roles but then she showed the world how well she could wrestle which changed the course of her career in the company. She proved she's not just a pretty face in a business that literally hires girls to walk around and be pretty faces.
1. Kelly Kelly
Kelly Kelly debuted in the WWE in 2006 and made her mark as a great role model for young girls with her signature striptease move. With WWE's history of women in progressive roles, I'm surprised they didn't have her showing off science experiments and describing laws of physics. The only thing she described was the law of physiques. She was part of a group known as Extreme Expose, made up of two other women. None of them wrestled.
Later she finally got into the ring and was able to do some real wrestling. Isn't that every WWE diva's dream? Imagine if that's how the promotion process went in the strip club. "Ok, for the first few months you dance, but if we like you then you get to fight the other girls. If we really like you then we'll smash a chair on your back."
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