Commuting in the car versus commuting on the bus or subway is a total different experience. There are positives and negatives to both. When you're driving you are completely alone and in your own private space. You're also in total control compared to having to wait for the bus or subway schedule.
The problem with driving is that you have to pay attention. That means you can't do things like eat, read, play videogames, and any other fun thing you can do while on the train. The problem is that you have to share that space with people who can sometimes be total weirdos.
The people in these photos are either masters of taking the train, or they are just straight up crazy. From people sleeping to people setting up entertainment centers, these people are making it work for them at the cost of looking extremely weird. You won't believe what some of these people do on, or even OUTSIDE the train.
1. Cut it Out!
There's no doubt that you should eat if you're hungry. We all know the term "hangry" which is a very real affliction that has very real consequence (like you being a complete jerk). Pull out an apple or a protein bar and munch away. You'll feel better and the people around you will feel better. I think that's pretty good advice, but what I don't mean by that advice is to pull out your produce and start chopping it right there in the subway.
This woman is suffering from the condition of doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. She's got one of the smelliest foods in the world right there, which makes it even worse. Not only are onions smelly, but they can inflict actual physical pain. When I cut onions I cry harder than when I watch Marley and Me.
2. Save Her a Slice
When you are drunk and trying to get home, food is as valuable as gold. I can't tell you how bad it is to finally get home and realize that the only thing you have to eat is a Top Ramen seasoning packet. Then, since no stores are open, you have to wait six hours starving with a pounding headache before you can eat. That makes this photo all the more heartbreaking. This woman is obviously coming down from drinking heavily, and she has a delicious looking pie ready for her, but she couldn't keep it together long enough to keep the pizza safe.
It doesn't appear that any of the pizza is touching the floor, but you know how New York subway germs can be. They are super powered. I wouldn't be surprised if they'd already infested the pizza.
3. The Crow?
Here's a tip in case you ever come across someone who looks like this. You know, a person wearing all black, with heavy goth makeup, and a real life crow perched on them. My advice is never to mess with that person. They could very well be the next Crow. The Crow was a pseudo-superhero played by Bruce Lee's son. If you start talking to this person, you may end up dead, or at the very least they'll suck you into a lengthy conversation about their neo-goth band called 'Darkest Soul.'
I'm all about interesting styles, but when an animal is part of your style, I get a little weirded out. When birds of death are anywhere near me I get weirded out as well. I'm just not keen on the threat of getting my eyes poked out during my commute.
4. You Can't Park That Here
I've seen some pretty incredible miniature cars while watching car shows. They are never in the United States either. It's always a place like Japan that has something really cool like a car within a car. At least in the states we have Bird scooters. Whatever this dude is driving in feels like the future to me. Why walk? Why walk even when you're getting on the subway? There's no point when you have a little mini car like that. Plus, you can chop onions in there without bothering anyone.
There are so many things I'm unsure of when it comes to this picture. I'm unsure of how he got that through the entire subway. Period. Then I'm confused about how he got that through the subway without someone stopping him. I don't see this ending well when the train is full and his stop is coming up.
5. I don't see anything
For anyone who is unaware of tactical outfits, this is a ghillie suit - a suit made to blend in with outdoor surrounding. I think this guy was trying to be lowkey but failed. Why else would you wear a ghillie suit out in public? It's for the camouflage abilities. While this suit may have worked well while he was stalking his ex in Central Park, it doesn't do so well on the subway. I don't like the idea of this guy continuously tickling my arm with his suit as I sit next to him. "Help. This bush is bothering me."
This guy is either on his way to a date with a former army ranger, or he's just leaving one. He's hanging his head in shame because his outfit choice didn't go over well. She couldn't even find him.
6. A True Gamer
I don't think I've ever understood a person better than I understand this man. I've had long days of work where there was nothing I wanted to do more than go home and play some video games. Unfortunately, sometimes it's not always that simple. Maybe you know the TV is going to be taken up when you get home. That means you have to improvise. Time for the mobile gaming station.
I'm not a frequent subway user, so I'm not privy to when it's busy and when it's not, but this dude must have it down. This isn't something you'd want to try on a busy train, but when it's empty, you pretty much have your own mobile gaming room. I don't think big boy has to worry about anyone stealing from him either. Unless they want big trouble.
7. Skinny Couple
Loneliness is one of those things that makes you do strange things. I know that I've done some weird things with pillows just because I was lonely. For that reason, I completely understand where this guy is coming from. Sometimes you want a girl so bad that you don't care what she's made out of. Unfortunately, I do worry that this is a gateway to being a serial killer, but what can you do?
What I find most disturbing isn't that the paper-person exists, but that this guy seems extremely attentive to it. When's the last time you saw two people on a train facing each other while they talk? This guy is working hard to make sure this date goes well. I just hope that he doesn't bring up origami. That could be a sensitive subject.
8. Lettuce Hat
I like to give people the benefit of the doubt when I see them doing something that looks otherwise crazy or stupid. I think that's only fair. That's why I'm going to do some mental gymnastics to validate why this woman is wearing a cup of lettuce on her head. Some people would immediately jump to the conclusion that she's crazy, but I don't think that's fair. I think that she's doing a hair treatment that soaks up the nutrients from the lettuce into her hair. In fifteen minutes she'll have luscious hair.
Do I really believe that? Not really. This lady doesn't look like she'd benefit from luscious hair. No offense lady, but maybe you're just some weird crazy person so who cares about offending you anyway. I know that may sound mean, but I only have enough positivity in me for five to six people a day.
9. Table for One
Everyone deserves to reward themselves with a great meal. That's true even on the subway. Who knows how long your commute might be. Sometimes the only way to unwind after a long day of work is to eat a leisurely meal. Who cares that your leisurely meal takes place on a moving train? You have to make life work for you. This guy is making life work for him so well that I'm actually kind of jealous of him. Fiji water? That's like the best water. Chopsticks? The best food are eaten with chopsticks. This guy is killing it.
I wouldn't put it past someone to sit on his tray thinking it was a seat. Then what are you going to do? I think crying sounds like a valid option. Sometimes your only options are to cry or to punch someone.
10. Are You Flashing Me, miss?
As a cat owner, I can completely understand this woman. Especially when my cats were kittens. I would be completely antisocial just so I could spend every waking minute with them. I stopped hanging out with my friends after work just so I could race home and hover a string over their heads. I totally get the need to be with them all the time. That means even taking them on the subway.
I'm sure the little buddy is a little scared, but maybe she just picked him up and had no choice but to take him home on the subway. What else are you going to do? Right next to your boob is just as safe as any place else. It's not until later when they're older that they can squirm away from you.
11. The Ultimate Battle
I personally love it anytime I see someone wearing a costume in public. That's with the exception of being in Times Square or Hollywood Boulevard. Over there the people in costume expect you to give them money for taking pictures with them. I'm not into that. If I wanted a picture with Elmo, I'd bust out my Tickle Me Elmo and a selfie stick. I wouldn't hug up next to a guy who smells like feta cheese in a grimey red costume.
Seeing a superhero character doing normal real world stuff is just so tickling to me. This picture makes the situation even more epic by creating a stare down by two of nerdom's most badass characters. Who would win between these two? My money is on Darth Vader, though I don't think it would be a wash.
12. Give Me My Space
It's pretty incredible how ingenious people can be when they have a problem they need to solve. You think that there's an invention for everything, but there's not. It's up to people like us to constantly create new inventions to make the world a better place, or in this case, repurpose another invention for your needs. What we have here is one of those toys balls that expands and contracts. This woman, fearful of having people close to her, turned it into a protective shell.
I totally get where this woman is coming from. The subway can be a weird, touchy-feely place. Having some kind of protective shell has its benefits, but also, if being around people is that big of a problem, take a taxi. Don't make YOUR crazy a problem for the rest of us.
13. Flavor Flav
Styles and trends always come back to make a resurgence. Even the monocle has had a brief resurgence among hipsters, though I don't know how long that will last. Hipsters have a way of killing things pretty quickly. On the other hand, hip hop style has a way of always seem cool. People can still rock a jumpsuit and seem pretty cool. Maybe you don't think that's cool at all, but it's at least cooler than the dude with a monocle on.
In this case, we're talking about the Flavor Flav style of hanging a big clock from your neck. That's a style that'll get you street cred and lower back problems all at once. While I don't see this coming back as a serious trend, I'm glad to see there are some old cats keeping it alive.
14. So This is Why Stores Offer Free Delivery
So this is why stores offer free mattress delivery. If not, they are pretty much liable for public hazards like bringing a mattress on the bus. I totally don't blame this woman though. My uncle had a similar situation when he lived in New York. He bought an entertainment center and had to take it piece by piece on the bus. It took him a year and a half. That's why I'm all about driving a lifted four-wheel truck.
You can't deny this woman her right to ride on the bus, but that's also the most inconvenient thing in the world. People on the bus are just trying to go home or go to work. There's a zero percent chance they're going to have any time for this. Even worse if someone decided to have an accident on your brand new mattress.
15. Screw it, I'm Tired
At a certain point, people become very bold when it comes to sleeping on the bus or train. After awhile, you get comfortable and no longer care what people think. Think about it. If you've been writing one particular bus for thirty years, are you going to let some punk tell you that you can't lay down across four seats? Hell no you aren't. By that time you've learned to become people's problem instead of letting them become yours.
Sometimes this is totally cool behavior though. If it's midnight on the last train and the bus isn't near full, then you might as well lay down. There is nothing wrong with that. If this was at 7am I might have some qualms with it though. I'd just end up laying on her stomach. Or, at least I think it's a her.
16. Here's a Tip... Don't
I have a lot of female friends and they are the first to tell me that they hate riding on the subway because guys always try to talk to them. Of course, that's because I hang out with perfect tens all the time, so they're especially susceptible to this type of behavior. The moral of the story is just don't. Women don't want to talk to you while they're riding on the greasy-ass subway. That is unless you are a perfect ten yourself. In that case, you can do whatever you want.
This picture is actually part of a prank where they have people reading funny books while on the subway. This couldn't possibly be a real book anyway. If it was I would have bought it already. I may have said that I have perfect ten friends, but none of them want to have anything to do with me.
17. OK, but you have to buy two tickets
This is the downside to comic con that no one talks about. Sure, you had a bunch of fun in your giant centaur costume, and you got plenty of nerd-chicks' numbers, but then you have to take the train home and you're screwed. This guy's costume is super elaborate, so even if he took it apart he'd still have all that crap to carry. It's probably easier to keep it on, even if that might cause some issues on the turnstyle. Don't horses know how to jump over things like that? Isn't it an olympic sport or something?
I've got to give this guy credit for making a centaur costume I've never seen before. Have you ever seen a zebra centaur? I wonder if they are persecuted compared to other centaurs. Not black enough or white enough.
If that guy in the orange didn't immediately get off on the next stop, there's a good chance that he was never heard from or seen again. I'm not sure what those creatures are supposed to be, but when is the last time you saw a good guy look like that? Those creatures look like what comes for you when you die. If you find yourself on a train with people who look like that, you should immediately Google whether or not there are any conventions nearby. If there aren't, then you're probably screwed.
I love how the creature next to the guy in orange is just staring at him with his dead eyes. There's something about the emotionless stare that's scarier than any other look you could give him. At least it's better than someone chopping onions next to you.
19. Cuddle Time
This picture is way better if these guys don't know each other at all. With all the talk of toxic masculinity and guys not being able to share their feelings with each other, this picture is very heartwarming. I mean, if that's the most comfortable thing to do, why not do it? The best part is that the guy on the far right won't be spreading any morning breath. He's the type you'd want to wake up next to in the morning.
I've never been one to sleep on the train. One, because I'm not comfortable resting my head on someone's shoulder. Two, because I am way too neurotic. Even if my stop is an hour away, I'll still think that it could be coming up any minute. My therapist says it's because I'm a control freak. I fired him so I could get some control.
20. Saving Money
Here's the good news about this strategy: The bus driver will never know. The bus is too big to rock when you jump on, and the rearview mirror can never catch you. The bad news is that you need to hold on tight as hell if you don't want to fall off. If you fall you're either going to get hit by another car, or you're going to roll on the ground for a while. Neither seems like a great outcome, even if it does save you a couple bucks on the bus fare.
I actually know the story here. This guy had gotten into an altercation on the bus which got him kicked off. Unfortunately his bags were still on the bus, so he grabbed on and stayed with his bags in the only way he knew how. Someone hire this man. He'll do anything to get the job done.
21. Take the Plunge
It's a little hard to see what's going on in this picture, so let me explain. This girl brought a plunger onto the train and stuck it into the ceiling so she could have a portable handhold. That's pretty ingenious, if not a little gross. I'm sure she's using a clean plunger, but I can't help but get gross thoughts in my head whenever I see a plunger. Luckily she went with a white handle one instead of the usual grody wood handle plunger. Those things always look dirty.
To be honest, as much as this seems like a good idea, I'm not so sure it would hold my weight. The last thing you want to do is fall all over everyone because you were trying to use a plunger as a hand hold. That is going to carner absolutely no sympathy.
22. No Shirt, No Service-
This guy totally got around the "no shirt no service" rule. I can really respect his ingenuity in making a Corona box outfit. I hope he bought the twelve pack, drank it, and then put his new outfit on. By that point you've got to totally be feeling yourself. It's probably warmer than nothing either. I think we just solved the environmental crisis. Take all that trash and make people wear it. That'll go over well, right?
I'm not liking the way that cardboard is pressing up against his neck though. Are we not convinced that he's not strangling himself in his sleep? Maybe he wants to die. It's not like he's in the best life situation right now, after all. I'd hate to be the coroner who turns in that report. Everyone would think you were joking.
23. Interesting Outfit Choice
They say you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have. That could be this man's strategy dressing as... well, I'm not exactly sure what to call that. In reality, this guy was trying to get some Hamilton tickets so he thought if he dressed up then someone would take pity on him and give him the lottery ticket. That's the tickets they give out to people every performance as a way to make up for the fact that tickets are $1,000.
I hope he wasn't wearing that during the Summer months. I can't imagine being in the New York heat wearing a one hundred piece suit. Sure, that's what people from that time period had to do, but screw that. That's why I live in the now. The time of air conditioning.
24. Someone Give Her a Pillow
That is not going to feel comfortable when she wakes up. Let's face it, it's going to feel like she got punched in the face. There's a reason why pillows are made of cotton or feather instead of hard steel. You either have to be really tired or really messed up to end up in this sleeping position. Mad respect for being able to pull it off, but that can't be good for your posture.
The metal on buses and trains always feels super greasy, which is the other reason not to sleep like this. Can you imagine how many hands have touched that metal without being cleaned? It's got to be germ city up over there. Not only hands, but also the back of people's heads. This lady probably got a nostril full of dandruff by sleeping like this.
25. A Make-Up Legend
It may sound weird, but the woman you want doing your makeup is the woman who can do it with a butter knife. Here's why. If a girl can pull off applying makeup with a butter knife, imagine what they could do with expensive brushes and makeup. Someone needs to give this woman a scholarship to beauty school. She'd be teaching there within the first month. She'd be the dean by the second.
We've all done something like this. Maybe not with makeup, but with something else. Maybe we didn't have the brush we needed, or the utensil, so we just improvised. I was raised to improvise. I remember seeing my mom cook five course meals using two pans and a fork. Nothing else. No spatula. No whisk. No spoon. Just a fork and some pans. The food was horrible.
26. The Perfect Woman
In this picture we have a step up from the woman made out of paper that we saw in the earlier slide. At least this woman sort of resembles a real woman, even if she's made of plastic. Do you think the guy with the paper girlfriend looks at this guy and gets jealous? At least we can all agree on one thing. Both of these guys are totally weird, and neither of them are good with the (real) ladies.
I'm not surprised by seeing someone with one of these weird female dolls. They are getting more popular among men who haven't been taught any social skills. "But real women nag and complain all the time." Women aren't perfect (and neither are men), and they are bound to get on your case, but most of the time women nag and complain because the man is screwing up in general. Women don't tend to complain when they're actually HAPPY WITH THEIR PARTNER.
27. Next Stop, End of the Rainbow
Here's a financial tip for you. If you ever see a guy like this on the train, get off on the same spot and follow him. He just may lead you to a pot of gold. Don't think he won't be armed though. After centuries of having their gold stolen, I'm pretty sure that most leprechauns are strapped by now. Of course, we know this guy isn't a real leprechaun due to the fact that he's 6'6", 250 pounds. That's not your typical leprechaun size.
You have to hope that you see something like this on or near St. Patrick's Day. If not, then you're dealing with a crazy person. You're probably dealing with a crazy person regardless. I'm thinking this guy should have chosen a different costume. One that is more in tune with his body size.
28. He was naked when he walked in
It's one thing to show everyone that you know how to knit by knitting in front of them. It's another thing to wear an entire outfit made out of knitting. That's how you say, "this isn't a hobby for me. This is a lifestyle." I mean, anyone can do a scarf. It's not rocket science, but a matching shirt, hat, and pants? That's some expert level knitting. Not to mention the fact that no one will ever be able to bite your style.
Usually we're used to seeing older women knitting, so it's pretty cool to see a dude who looks like Andre 3000 doing it. It's an inspiration for the three or four kids who want to get into knitting but are afraid to look soft. All you have to do is punch the first person who makes fun of you, unless it's your grandma.
29. Deepest Sleep Ever
I would have to assume that if you're sleeping on the subway, then it means you are extremely tired. It's not like it's the most comfortable place in the world. We've seen how other people sleep in some of these pictures. You tell me if any one of those looked comfortable. I'm pretty sure none of them looked ideal. This lady is in the classic sleeping in public pose, which is the same position that gives you permanent neck injuries. It's better to be well rested than to have a functioning neck.
I wish there was a way for humans to close their mouths when they sleep in public. No one needs a vent of stinky breath in the middle of the subway train. Plus, everyone knows that your breath gets worse when you're asleep. I don't know why, but it just does.
30. The Love for Avatar is Real
Avatar is a weird franchise (yes, franchise even though none of the follow-up movies have come out yet), because people became obsessed with the world of Pandora. I don't know why. It just seemed like a normal jungle but made out of CGI. "But everyone lived in harmony. It's beautiful." That's not true. The main character was almost killed by deadly animals in Pandora, and the whole place was easily destroyed and brought to war. Not the greatest place if you ask me.
People who love Avatar will go beyond just cosplaying as the characters. They actually want to live as the creatures. That's why I'm not too sure if this is cosplay or someone who never got a date in highschool so now they pretend they are from an imaginary world. We all cope in our own ways.
31. There Weren't Any Seats Open
There's showing off and annoying everyone, and then there's showing off and impressing everyone. I think this falls under the second category. Tell me that you wouldn't love to see this on the subway. Especially since he's not going to be taking up any seats. A small child could even stand under him. If anything, this guy is a subway hero. It's almost as if he's like... Robin Hood!
I need to get on whatever work out regimen this guy is on. I haven't been able to do the splits like that since I was in my mother's womb. My bones were practically rubber back then, so it doesn't even count. If I could do that I'd be doing it all the time. I might skip out on giving the creepy look, but I have a feeling that just comes with the territory.
32. Open the Door!
There has to be a way that something like this is avoidable. Even elevator doors have sensors that stop the doors from crushing you, and elevators are an extremely old invention. This poor woman just wanted to get off the bus, but either an automatic system closed it on her or the bus driver really hated her. I'm going to bet the bus driver hated her. If you drove for nine hours a day you'd hate people too.
It's very likely that his woman is foreign and doesn't know how the public transportation works here. Imagine going to another country and seeing a door you've never seen before. It seems ridiculous and unlikely, but it could happen to any one of us. We take what we know for granted. Think about that next time you're on your way to China.
33. It's Better than an Ipad
Nowadays if you want to distract a child so that they don't cause a commotion in public, you give them some kind of tablet or phone. That's why six month olds can code before they can even talk. The strategy works, but we all know it's not the best. In fact, the light from screens actively kills eye cells. I didn't start using devices until I was in my teens, and my eyes already hurt. Imagine these babies who will be blind by the time they are ten.
This fiddle player has the right idea. Hearing music, especially beautiful fiddle music, has got to be good for a child's brain. It's at least better than watching someone else play Mario Party on Youtube. That's what my nephew does. I'm worried about the youth. They'd rather watch someone live than live.
34. Hanging Out
I really like this picture because it reminds me of a baroque painting. There is something going on in every corner. From the guy hanging upside down (which is the centerpiece in my opinion), to the different people looking over at him. My favorite part is the newspaper clipping that says "Subway maniac incidents soar." That's too perfect of a headline for the situation.
The guy hanging upside down might be doing some kind of performance on the subway. That's pretty common, and very annoying. Since no one can leave the subway, they make for the perfect audience. They have to watch the performance, thus they have to pay you for the performance. I hate that. If I didn't specifically buy tickets to your performance, I don't want to have anything to do with it.
35. Just Hanging
If you've noticed anything from these slides it's that people love to do two things on the subway. They love to sleep and they love to hang. I can understand why you'd do both. We've already covered sleep. Sometimes you just have to sleep on a long commute. As far as hanging goes, subway trains are built like playground. They have bars to hang from all over the place. It's kind of hard not to want to do it (if you're athletic enough to do it).
If I were one of those guys behind him I'd grab his wallet while he was hanging and run off. It's not like he can get down from there quickly without falling. That's what he gets for showing off in public like that. Everyone could use a little bit of humbling every now and then.
36. I Guess the Wings Aren't Functioning
This might be proof that angle wings aren't that great. If you have to take the train despite having wings, they must not be that great at flying. Now, I don't actually think this is a real angel. All the real angels were killed fighting in the Iraq war. Enough with the silliness though. This guy's angel costume is quite beautiful, but it's not doing any favors to anyone who wants to sit next to him. Wings aren't as bad as zebra legs, but they do come with their own problems.
For real though, if you ever seen an angel on public transportation, get off on the next stop. That can't be a good sign right? What other reason would the angle be there than to take you to the afterlife after the subway crashes into a wall after the breaks go out.
37. The British are Coming!
It's obvious that men don't dress like they used to. I think that's a good thing, but still, people back in the day had quite the style. It took them about an hour to get dressed in all those layers. It's not as if they were washing their uniforms all the time either. I bet they felt gross and sticky, but that was just life. It didn't matter if it was one hundred degrees outside. You still put on every single layer. I have some deep respect for the amount of discomfort people used to put themselves through.
The outfit really stands out nowadays, but back then everyone wore this exact same outfit, so it wasn't as flashy. I wonder how people stood out back then. You'd have to wear a designer suit, but who were the designers?
38. At Least the Train is Safe
At this point I'm not sure which Power Rangers those are. It feels like there have been a million different Ranger outfits since the show first began. They keep reinventing it with Wild Rangers, Shape Rangers, Space Force Rangers, and whatever other nonsense they can come up with. I guess that's how they keep the series going through generations. It means I can talk to my nephew about Power Rangers, even though neither of us know what the other person is talking about.
These guys must have just come from a Comic Con, but their presence would actually comfort me. Even though they are obviously fake Power Rangers, I feel like they'd be heroic if anything bad were to happen. How pathetic would it be if an assault started happening and the Power Rangers just sat there?
39. "Just try to blend in."
New Yorkers are so used to seeing big, disgusting rats that they probably didn't even blink an eye seeing these to human-sized ones. That's just a byproduct of living in New York. You know that one day you're going to get mugged, and that you might see some human-sized rats. It's the trade off for having such great theater. You just might have to sit next to a rodent while you watch Hamilton.
Obviously these aren't real rats, but those costumes look really good actually. Even if the masks don't fit perfectly to their necks. My main question is why? The two of them seem very relaxed. It's like this is their usual routine. Go out for wine and cheese in their rodent costumes. Whatever makes the relationship work, right? If your partner asks you to dress up as a rat, dress up as a rat.
40. Snack Time
I'm not here to tell anyone how to live their lives, but I feel like I do have to say one thing: don't eat mayonnaise out of the jar by itself. I feel like that goes without saying, but obviously this picture proves otherwise. With all the delicious foods available to us, it's not surprise that Americans are generally overweight. A bacon jalapeno cheeseburger sounds like heaven. That being said, there is no reason to eat a jay of mayonnaise. I think that should be illegal.
You can't complain about being overweight, not having friends, or being depressed if you are someone who eats jars of mayonnaise by themselves. The problem is way too obvious for you to get any sympathy. I bet if this person just stopped eating mayo, they'd live a great, happy life.
41. Where is she going to spit?
You can save a lot of time by transferring your getting ready duties from home to the subway. It's not like you're going to do anything but sit there anyway. Might as well make use of the time. We saw that woman do makeup with a butter knife earlier, and that seemed like a good idea, so why wouldn't getting ready in other ways be just as useful? I can name one. Brushing your teeth. That's because whenever you brush your teeth, you usually have to spit afterward. How are you supposed to do that on the train?
This lady must be doing a dry brush, but I don't see how that helps your breath. All you're doing is moving all the smelly germs around in your mouth. Your canines start smelling like your molars. That's about it.
42. Pikachu is a Carnivore
I absolutely love this style of Pokemon costume. I recently saw a relay race between a bunch of Pikachus versus a bunch of Eevees. It was the cutest thing ever, and also very impressive that they could run without falling with those extremely short legs. I never wondered what those people in the suits did afterwards. I would have assumed that they went to a locker room and changed before going home. Never did I think that they just took the subway home in their costumes.
I really love how this looks like a human trying to escape from the jaws of a Pikachu. It's kind of horrifying, like something out of Attack on Titan, an anime about giants who eat humans for pleasure. The emotionless look on Pikachu's face makes it all the more terrifying.
43. He Brought his Own Seat
I take back not being able to sleep comfortably in a subway train. This guy seems to have it figured out. It looks like being back in the womb. It's medically proven that being in a womb-like position can be extremely comforting. The only thing this guy really has to worry about is his knot-tying abilities. That's a horrible way to wake up, and it definitely won't garner any sympathy from the other riders.
I wonder if this is a product that someone sells. I think it's pretty amazing that someone can come up with an idea based on the needs of the people and then make that thing. If the idea takes off then the creator becomes a millionaire and suddenly we'll see hundreds of these things hanging in all the subway trains across America.
44. Heading Back to the Zoo
This gives a whole new meaning to, "We've had some complaints about a horny subway passenger." I feel like that has to be a cast member from the broadway version of The Lion King. After a long performance he has to take the train home. I wonder if he takes the same train as Pikachu. I bet they wouldn't talk though. I bet Broadway actors look down on Pokemon actors. It's just the way things are.
As much of a hindrance it is to your movement, wearing something like this is probably one of the safest ways to travel in New York. No one is going to mug you, and you can't possibly get into a fight. No one is going to fight a rhino. You'd have to feel like an idiot punching a big spongy costume like that.
45. The Manspreading
Manspreading is an often complained about occurrence. The main people who complain about it are women because men are often manspreading into their space because of sexism or something. It might have more to do with the fact that we have giant balls between our legs and women don't. You never hear men complain about men manspreading next to them because men understand that other men have balls. It's that simple. Sorry, but feminists 0. Manspreading 1.
Case in point with this picture. These two gentlemen found a way to coexist with each other while one manspreads (The only part I'm confused about is why the other guy is reading a book while sleeping). It's actually quite beautiful to see them working in harmony like this. In the age where everyone's complaining about toxic masculinity, it's nice to see this tender moment. All thanks to manspreading.
46. Refer to #16
In slide number 16 there was a book that I had mentioned is part of a picture series of people reading fake books on the subway. This is another example of one of those. This one is a little more clearly a joke. Human taxidermy would have to be illegal, or at the very least, unpopular. It's not totally out of the realm of possibilities though. I can see some rich person having a human lampshade just to flaunt their wealth.
What would be really disturbing is if someone started talking to this guy about human taxidermy. "Hey buddy. If you're into that stuff I know a guy. He can get you any skin color you want." You'd tell him it's just a prank and he'd say "not for me it isn't. Not for me..."
47. Don't Make Eye Contact
In general it's best not to make eye contact with people on the subway. If you do you're just inviting trouble. Once you make eye contact it's pretty much an open invitation for the other person to approach you if they feel like it. At the very least you'll be freaking out the other person, because they are also thinking "don't make eye contact."
This is definitely not the type of person I'd want to make eye contact with. His mask is scary enough, but what's even more terrifying is not knowing what's underneath the mask. It could be even worse. I have to give props to the girl sitting next to him though. She must be an experienced subway rider because she is unphased. She might also be texting for help. That's also likely.
48. I Hope They Know Each Other
One thing that can make the subway a little easier is having a buddy. The benefits of this are twofold. For one, you have someone who can protect you in case someone tries to bother you. There is safety in numbers. For two, you have someone to sleep on. We've seen plenty of strangers sleeping next to and on each other in this list, but we can all admit that it's much more comfortable when it's someone you know. Unless you know the person suffers from intense dandruff.
The way these two decided to sleep is extremely interesting. She's in the thinker pose, while also being precariously close to his crotch. I'm not saying how they're sitting is inherently dirty, but I wouldn't want my sister sleeping on me like that. I wouldn't want to poke an eye out.
49. He's TIREd
I always find it interesting to see what people are carrying on the subway. Like I had mentioned before, my own uncle had struggled with taking an entertainment center across New York. This is just how people have to live, so you never know what might show up on the train. In this case it's a tire, which you'd think would be easy to travel with since it's just a wheel you can roll around, but it's not so easy. Tires are filthy, off balance, and sometimes have metal sticking out of them. One time I had to haul 80 used tires across town. I cut myself on the final tire. THE FINAL TIRE. 79 other tires with no cuts. What are the odds? I'd say they were 1 in 80.
This guy definitely looks TIREd, and I must be too to make that pun.
50. Greatest Balance in the World
You know how the saying goes, if you don't stand for anything, you fall for everything. In this guys case, if you stand for anything, you somehow don't fall... ever. He must have found that perfect spot where his balance is evenly distributed. That should be a skill in and of itself. The human body is much more amazing than we give it credit for. It doesn't want to fall over, so even though he's asleep, the body is still working to make sure he's safe. Aren't bodies great?
If you were on this train and there were empty seats, would you wake him up and tell him to sleep there? I feel like it's his business, yet he might also appreciate it. What would you do in any of these situations? Tell us in the comments.
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